craquaria ✰ i love you, or whatever

Chapter 7: Almost Something More

Maxwell / Miz Cracker's POV

Giovanni had left my whiny ass standing alone in that bathroom less than a minute ago and I already wanted to run behind him. I sighed and stared at my reflection in the mirror, «what are you doing cracker» I thought to myself. I looked so... So... Worried. But Giovanni was right. I had to believe in myself. Whatever happened tomorrow I'd just have to keep my head high and hope for the best.

I left the studio, jumped onto the van, and sat in the back with Monet. I sighed and just laid my head back. Monet noticed immediately that something was wrong. Aquaria was in the front with Asia and some other girls from her group. When the production was in a good mood and we had "behaved" right, they'd let us listen to the radio on the way back to the hotel. They were jamming to God knows what, I couldn't even focus for one second to try and recognize the song. I started shaking and Monet kindly put her hand on mine and asked me what was wrong. And what was I supposed to say? Monet is one of my bestest friends on earth but i knew that I couldn't talk to her about what was going through my head. First of all, I couldn't talk about Aquaria because we had agreed on not telling anyone. And second? She was on my team and explaining my deep anxiety wouldn't help her, it would just make her more anxious, and I didn't want that...

- Okay, Cracker that's enough, your face is full worries, what's wrong with you? Is it because of the challenge? - she asked I guess that I could tell her about my anxiety after all. At the end of the day, it was a better option than telling her about Aquaria.

- Yeah, I'm just worried about our group. I don't think we're ready and I don't want to mess up and drag everyone to the bottom with me.

- Oh shut up, you're gonna be fine, we will all be fine. Let's no worry until we have to okay?

- You're right. I'll just rehearse before going to bed and tomorrow I'll let God take the lead.

- Bitch, do you even believe in God? - Monet asked with a chuckle.

- Oh my goodness, I'm a Jewish princess, I'll let God take the lead every single day - I responded. We both let out a burst of laughs that released all of the stress that I was feeling before. I laid my head on Monet's shoulder and closed my eyes, trying to take a nap for the rest of the trip and feeling thankful for having a friend as supportive as Monet.

My head hit the front seat and I woke up immediately, we had arrived. Everyone got out of the van and I saw Giovanni carelessly strutting into the hotel, he seemed to be in a good mood. I smiled to myself and followed the group.

Once I was in my bedroom I took a quick shower and decided to practice my lip sync for the next day, i had to be prepared, just in case. I laid out my boy outfit for the next day and made sure i had everything i needed ready to go to not end up rushing in the morning.

I started thinking of Gio, today's bathroom conversation had run so short and he felt like he didn't want to be a burden so he wouldn't come by tonight. But I wanted him here, just for a bit. I wanted to talk to him for a while and just chill and laugh as we did in the morning. I was debating between trying to bed and knocking into her door. I looked at the clock, it was almost 1 am, which meant the lights were already out in the hallway. I decided I would take the risk because I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep until I had talked to her.

I put on my shoes and opened my door. I checked left and right to make sure that there was no one there. I quickly ran across the hallway and knocked on his door. He opened so fast, as if he was already there.

- Can I come in? - I asked.

- Yeah, of course, come in. Wow you surprised me, I thought you wanted to be by yourself today, you know, to rehearse and all.