You're My Soldier (Laurinah)

Chapter 9

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Trigger warning!! If your depressed don't read this chapter! I repeat don't read this chapter!!!

Its finally Saturday! I'm so excited, Today Dinah and I are just hanging out all day and then she's taking me out for our date. Im a little nervous too though. What if she realizes she isn't into me? What if this doesn't work out and our friendship is gone? What if she relizes im ugly? All these thoughts were flooding through my head. I started feeling self conscious.

Your a fatass, Dinah doesn't want to date an ugly slut like you! Your not worth hers, or anybodys time!

These voices in my head wouldn't stop. Im crying so hard right now I havn't had a panic attack like this sense I was like 14. I need an escape! I don't want to do it. I havn't done it in such a long time, I've been doing so good, I can't go back to my old habits. I crawld up in a ball on the floor next to my bed. I brought my knees to my chest and started rocking back and forth trying to calm myself down. I heard my phone vibrate on my night stand. I grabbed it and saw that I got a text from Dinah.

Hey beautiful...your ready for our day together? Be there soon! -D

She's lying to you Lauren. Your not beautiful and you never will be! Do Dinah a favor. You've tried it before, do it again. She and everybody else is to good for you!

I texted Dinah. The voices in my head were right. I'm ugly, Dinahs too good for me.

Don't come. Do yourself a favor and stay away from an ugly ass slut like me! I'm tired. I'm tired of feeling this way. Im done. Goodbye Dinah -L

I'm tired of feeling like this. I hate myself. Im an ugly slut who doesn't deserve Dinah, or anybody for that matter I need to do them a favor and dissapear. I know what I have to do. My phone Vibrates again and I can't help but look at the message.

Lauren Listen to me! Don't do anything im coming over! -D

Im so tired! I can't do this anymore! The past few days have been awesome. The voices always seem to come back! They never leave me alone "I can't take it anymore!" I scream to my empty house. I'm so done. I run to the bathroom and into the shower. I grabbed my razor and threw it on the shower floor. I grabbed the razor and sat on my floor next to the toilet.

Fat ass!

One cute....

Slut!

One cut....

Ugly!

One cut...

Witg every cut the next one got deeper... I soon have five very deep cuts on my arm. I felt dizzy and I kept seeing flashes of black. Everytime I'd try to stop the voices kept coming back and would force me to stop. I heard my front door slam open and shut. The footsteps were coming up my stairs very fast.

"Lauren! Lauren were are you!? " is thag Dinah?

The bathroom door flings open and the last thing I see is Dinah standing in the doorway in bmthe brink of tears.

Dinahs Pov (only for a little bit)

Once Lauren sent me that text I knew she was gonna do something. I texted her back thinking that she may listen to me. I jumped in my car and probably broke 5 laws driving to her house. I didn't bother knocking I just ran in and up her stairs.

"Lauren! Lauren were are you!? " I yelled while running to a room and swining the door open. I guess it was her room. I saw that her phone was cracked on the floor next to her wall. I started thinking the worst. My first thought was to check the bathroom. I swing the door open to see a half conscious Lauren bleeding before my eyes. I was just about to cry when she passed out. I went into nurse mode. I grabbed a wash cloth and put cold water on it. I cleaned her cuts and put disinfectants on them. She have about 8 cuts and each one was a little deeper then the other one. Once I got her cuts cleaned I went into her room and got her a new pair of Pjs. I went back to bathroom and changed her into them. I picked Lauren up bridle style and carried her into her room and layed her down on her bed. I grabbed her phone. Thank god it still worked! I found her moms number and called her mom.
Conversation with Laurens mom (C = Clara, D = Dinah)