Baguette: For Christmas I want a spare copy of the Code
Sachertorte: Be realistic
Baguette: Okay then I want a kid
Sachertorte: So what language do you want the spare copy in?
Baguette, starting to tear up: French
~~~~
Whiskey: Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
Spaghetti: Aw
Whiskey: But the very next day
Spaghetti: No
Whiskey: You said that was gay
Spaghetti:
Whiskey:
Spaghetti: bro
~~~~
(I thought of this one on my own with my sleep-deprived and hungry ass, I don't know whether to be horrified or not)
Steak: Yesterday I took some of the kids to the mall to see Santa, via Master Attendant's request, and I noticed that all Santas in the stores anywhere have those jolly red faces
Steak: No one's face is naturally that jolly or that reddish
Gingerbread: Their faces stay unbearably jolly and unnaturally red because they know what will happen if they let their act slip up. It is a "myth" that parents painted over the holiday season, and chaos will ensue if that myth is shattered before the appropriate age. The pressure is real in every second of the day, and the elves stand by the side and watch in amusement as they push the chosen one to the limits of their mind and will
Gingerbread: Failure to imitate Santa is unacceptable. Failure means death
Gingerbread: What do you think they keep in that large house that always accompanies the Santa visits at the mall? The execution chamber and the holding cell that houses the other sacrifices
Gingerbread: Santa is watching. Santa is listening. Santa knows all of the terrible things you've done
Gingerbread: The spirit of Christmas will live on no matter what the cost
Steak: *horrified and hugging onto Red Wine*
~~~~
*when they're setting up the Christmas tree*
Everyone: Christmas tree O Christmas tree
Bonito Rice: Your ornaments are history *charges for the tree*
MA: BONITO--
~~~~
Customers: Nooo November is too early to play Christmas music!!
MA: Haha Santa go ho ho ho
Customers: NOOOO
MA: OH I'M SORRY FIND ME A PLAYLIST OF THANKSGIVING SONGS THEN I'LL CHANGE IT
~~~~
Bloody Mary: *putting up mistletoes everywhere*
Black Pudding: What are you doing?
Bloody Mary: I have to secure every opportunity to be able to kiss Steak
~~~~
MA: Don't get up before 7 tomorrow
Literally all of the Food Souls: We ride at dawn bitches
~~~~
MA: So this year we bought a 20ft tall Christmas tree and cut it in half so it goes through the roof
Gingerbread, with tears in her eyes: Making Santa proud
~~~~
Coffee: Why does Chocolate seem to get so much hotter during the holiday season? His holiday is Valentine's Day
MA: Hnnnn hot chocolate
Coffee: Excuse me?
MA: Hot. Chocolate.
~~~~
Pizza: All I want for Christmas
Pizza: Is
Spaghetti:
Pizza: To punch you~
Spaghetti: !?
Black Forest Cake: *chugs kirsch*
~~~~
Gingerbread: It's never too early for Christmas decorations if you never take them down
MA, to Red Wine and Steak: Is she always like this?
Red Wine: Yes. I advise you do not remove the decorations
~~~~
Candy Cane: Guys, it's time to put the angel on top of the tree!
Tequila: Say no more
Croissant: *screams as he gets thrown onto the tree*
Weisswurst: Aw man Tequila's drunk again
YOU ARE READING
Food Fantasy on Crack 2
RandomI really need to find better things to do with my life. Oh wait, we're in quarantine, there's nothing else for me to do. This book will probably be finished before quarantine, too.
