The Secret Youtuber

Chapter Six

I stare at the screen. The comment section of my latest video is filled with hate and annoyed fans. Sure, there are a few that are being positive, but its mostly annoyed fans. I scroll through, reading each comment. Tears well up in my eyes. This has been going on for too long. A month is too long. I grab my phone and go to Alex's number and begin to text him. Well, I try. I can't seem to put the thoughts into words. I just end up sitting with no text sent. Out of frustration, I begin putting random thoughts. A few sentences develop into a paragraph that reads:

I can't do this anymore. Alex, I'm sorry I lied to you. I'm sorry I pretended. Yeah, I knew who you were. I wanted so bad to tell you who I was. But I couldn't. I can't say why, but I have to keep myself a secret. I want to say sorry. I know, you are uber mad at me, and I understand, but please just forgive me. I want to record with you again. I want to hang out with you again. Sorry. If you can't forgive me, then I guess this is goodbye. Sorry, again.

I contemplate pressing send for a few moments, but I finally give in and send it.

Then I do something that I probably shouldn't. I begin to vlog. I press record on the camera that's on the tripod.

"Hey, guys." I say, looking into the camera. "I'm Floxie. I've hurt some people by keeping who I am a secret. I love those people, too, but sometimes it's for the best that things are kept a secret. I'm filming this vlog--or face reveal, whatever you call it--to say that I love you guys." I point to the camera and smile. "Which is why I'm making this. I wouldn't make this if I didn't love you."

I edit the video down to five minutes, cutting out all the silent parts and unnecessary details. I take a deep breath as I upload the video.

I begin to panic. I just put my life in danger. More danger than I should have. I feel myself begin to have a panic attack, so I have to stand up and breathe. Nothing will happen. I sit down on my couch and take a deep breath. I'll be fine.

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I must have fallen asleep last night on the couch. I sit up and fully wake up before walking around my house. I hear a car door shut, and curiosity gets the best of me. I walk over to the window and see someone walking to Alex's house. I can't see who it is, but he looks familiar. Another person hops out of the car. I instantly recognize him. It's Straub. Straub and someone else are in town to visit Alex. I want to run out and hug Mitch, but I can't. I'm too embarrassed. I just watch them walk into Alex's house. I push my bangs behind my ear and look at my hands. This is my own doing.

I jump a bit when my phone rings, indicating that I've recieved a text.

"Hey, you can come over.. I have some people over who I think you'd want to meet."

It's from Alex. He never said he forgave me, but yet he's inviting me over. I reply back saying that I'll be over in a bit.

I take a fast shower and french braid my hair as soon as I get out. I put the hair apart a bit to make it look loose. I put on my clothes, a gray sweater with darker gray sleeves and dark skinny jeans. I don't even bother putting on makeup. I slip on my red converse, just to give the outfit a bit of color. Then I'm on my way.

I knock on his door, and instead of him opening it, Sean opens it.

"Oh my god!" I squeal, hugging him. I smile. He smells super good! He hugs me back and I can hear him chuckle a little bit.

"Hey, Floxie." He says. I pull away from the hug and walk inside.

"I didn't expect you to recognize me." I tell him as he shuts the door.

"Well, your face reveal helped a lot." He jokes with a smirk. "There's two others here too." He says, brushing past me and walking down the hallway into Alex's recording room. I follow him, and inside are Alex, Liam, and Mitch. Happiness flows through me as I see them.

"Hey there, Floxie." Liam smiles. He stands up, and I hug him instantly. He wraps his arms around me and laughs. I pull away from the hug and hug Mitchell.

"It's so nice to know what you look like." Mitch jokes, and I pull away from the hug laughing. Alex clears his throat, and it sounds like he's still a bit angry.

I look at Alex, and he's avoiding eye contact with me. "Guys, can we have a moment? Alone?" I ask, and the other three nod and leave. I sit in the chair beside him.

"What do you want?" He asks with a sigh.

"I want to tell you that I'm sorry. Like, face to face. I know I sent you the text but I need to do it like this, too." I tell him. He looks at me and shakes his head.

"I forgive you. Ya happy now?" He asks, then stands up and leaves the room. I follow him out and walk to the other guys. Although he said he forgave me, I still don't feel like he truly does.

"So, how long are you guys in town?" I ask, crossing my arms.

"I'm here until MineCon." Mitchell replies. "No point in flying back just to come here again." He adds.

"I'm here for two weeks." Sean answers before sitting on the couch.

"Same." Liam says with a yawn.

"Well, if you guys want, you can stay at my place. Or some of you. It doesn't really matter, haha." I offer. My house has a guest bedroom, and a garage that someone turned into an apartment in the backyard. "It's free, unlike staying at a hotel." I add with a wink.

"I'm staying here with Graser." Mitch says with a shrug, then takes a seat by Sean.

"I'll take you up on that offer." Sean smiles. "Can I go put my stuff in your house?" He asks. I nod, then walk to the front door.

"Be back in a few minutes." I say, then walk out the front door. I look back to make sure that Sean's following me. He grabs his stuff out of the trunk and follows me to my house.

"It's a bit messy, but the guest bedroom is spotless. I don't have many people coming over." More like no one ever comes over. I show him to his room. "Alright, now down the hall that we just walked down is a bathroom and my office. My room is across the front room and down that short hall. It's the door on the end. Knock if you ever need anything. The kitchen is behind the extending wall in the front room, and you can help yourself to anything in there." I tell him, pointing to each place as I speak.

"Nice." He smiles, then jumps onto his bed. He throws a pillow at me. "Now get out of my room!" He laughs. I grab the pillow and hit him with it playfully.

"Shut up!" I laugh, then leave the room. "I'll wait for you to get settled in before I go back to Alex's place."

"Sounds great. Wanna help me?" He asks, and I shrug.

"Sure, not like I'm doing anything else." I say, walking back into his room. I take his recording stuff and walk into my office. I set his stuff up on my old desk. I turn around, and he's leaning on the doorpost. I jump a bit and laugh at myself.

"Thanks for letting me stay over." He says softly. "I'd rather have my own room than share a hotel room with H." He grins, then walks to me. I watch as he takes my hand and kisses it softly, sending chills down my spine. "Now, where's a good place to take some people out to eat?" He asks, squeezing my hand.

"You'd have to ask Alex. I don't go out to eat much." I say, looking down at the ground. "C'mon, lets go back over there." I say, moving my hand out of his and nudging him.

"Alright." He sounds defeated. Why?

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A/N: I hope this chapter was better than the last one. That one was sucky. D: