Getting Wilder ✔️

issue two: most liked comment saving my gluteus maximus

Wilder Collins.

He was the answer to my problems. The only guy Brad would listen to. The only guy who could help me achieve what I had in mind. Provided, of course, that I could persuade him.

I was sick of the way gossip spread like wildfire in our school. No worthy news ever seemed to find the headlines as much as the scandals. I had a vague idea that I wanted to do something to change it. I had always been interested in journalism, and this might even be an opportunity for that.

The only trouble was to get Wilder alone. He had been talented at coding before he had decided that it was too nerdy, and discarded it. However, I hoped with his coding and my creativity, we could create what I had in mind. Provided, of course, that he agreed in the first place.

I was reluctant to call or text him, not having done that since a long time, and I wasn't even sure if he had the same number anymore. If things between us had been icy before, they were now liquid nitrogen.

The next day at school, I couldn't stop thinking about the kiss. It felt like a beacon, a little secret flame in my chest, thawing my heart.

Until I was rudely awoken from my fantasy slumber.

I was walking along the corridor towards my calculus class, immersed in trying to learn the formulae even though I had already learnt it by heart. It was more of an attempt to appear busy so no one would approach me. It didn't work, however.

"I bet you like sticky stuff."

My head snapped up at the sudden whisper, and I saw a shaggy-haired stranger passing by me with a knowing smirk on his face that made my blood boil. I knew he wasn't worth my attention and forced myself to return to my book with gritted teeth.

Sure enough, that was the first of many taunts I had to endure that day.

"That must have been like a fantasy."

"Is that why he keeps lurking around the boys' locker room?"

"Dude needs to get a fucking life."

In a way, I was glad I was alone. I didn't think I could cope with the humiliation of being teased in front of anyone. And suddenly I was deluged under the icy shock of realisation, that for all the pride parades and acceptance, somewhere there still resided a deep-rooted stigma. Same as my mom. Same as the shaggy-haired guy who had passed cruel remarks. Same as my sister who didn't understand why I was still terrified.

This was why Wilder didn't want anyone to know. I couldn't imagine him ever coming out anyway. He would lose his standing, possibly more. And there was no way I was going to let myself be the cause of that. Even though I might be naive at times, I knew the world of difference between Wilder Collins and Wilder Collins: the gay. 

The difference that still existed in this century. 

Some stupidly optimistic part of me wanted to believe that people didn't mean any genuine harm. That their lighthearted homophobic jokes were just that.

I endured an entire day of taunts and sniggers, deciding to ignore everything that was said. Cam and Ray acted civilised enough with each other, although too much so, which made me feel like something was off. When I tried to talk to Ray, her pale blue eyes narrowed. She didn't say anything other than a few generic comments and turned her face away from me, flashing me her dark curly hair instead. I gazed at her and to my right where Camden sat, staring at us. I shrugged and decided to concentrate on class instead.

However, of course, it was impossible, since every time I left my mind empty, it wandered to Wilder and how his lips had felt on mine. How he had held me close, his mouth tender but hungry at the same time. How his hot breath had felt. There had been something between us, my infatuated brain was sure of it. However, he hadn't wanted anyone to know about the kiss. It made sense since he did have a girlfriend.