Getting Wilder ✔️

issue twenty-ninth: can open, worms everywhere

Dedicated to Shvaenyx210905 thank you for the love you've shown for this book! I'm grateful. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I don't even know what to say to her."

Wilder was quiet. We stood in front of my house. We had waited at his place till it was evening and my mom had returned home from her restaurant. I sighed and gazed sideways at him, prodding again. "What...do you think I should say to her?"

Wilder raked a hand through his hair, his other hand finding mine and clasping it firmly. He shook his head. My heart fluttered at the tiny gesture.

"I don't know, Nico. You...need to confront her and there's really no softer way around it." He looked at me. "Or you could just...not tell her at all."

"No," I gritted my teeth, feeling my anger return like an avalanche in my chest. "No. I...I need to confront her." I shut my eyes and took a deep breath.

"Maybe we should go in front of her and start making out," Wilder suggested. I burst out laughing at the way he looked so serious. He glanced at me, smiling softly. "Yes and then jump apart and yell 'No Homo.'"

I giggled and nudged his arm playfully. "That's a foolproof plan, she won't know what hit her."

He gazed at me silently, leaning in to kiss me. I shut my eyes and revelled in the tender kiss, my skin tingling with pleasure. Would I ever get used to this?

When he leaned back, his gaze was soft, loving. The twinkle in his eyes was back. Or perhaps it was simply the streetlight reflecting off his irises. Either way, I was glad. 

"I'll wait here in case you want to make a dramatic exit."

I bit my lip and nodded. "Sounds good."

I gazed at him silently for a while, my heart aching from my mother's acts. I couldn't understand. It was hard to believe that the person I loved and trusted the most had been the reason for the agony I had gone through. She was the reason I had lost all those years with Wilder. All those memories I could have made with him. Part of me still hoped if she knew what my feelings truly were, that maybe she would understand. Accept. 

Anger flared at my insides when I heard the unmistakable sound of a car and turned to see hers pulling up to the driveway. Wilder grasped my hand firmly before leaning in to kiss my forehead. "I should go with you."

I shook my head, my heart warm that he would even suggest such a thing. "No, it's okay. I...I'll handle it."

He sighed deeply as both of us gazed at the familiar figure of my mom stepping out of the car. A moment later she was on the front porch, reaching for the door handle. Her form came to light when she stood under the lamp of the doorway. My heart seized in pain. Searing white-hot knives seemed to pierce my chest. How could she do this to me? 

Maybe she didn't realize how everything had affected me. A nervous gnawing began in my stomach. Was I doing the right thing by confronting her? What if she rejected me? Would she ask me to leave? Or would she try to 'transform' me?

The biggest question out of the million still lurked like a devil. The question I had harboured in the deepest corners of my heart ever since I had realized what I was.  

Would she be ashamed of me?

I shut my eyes, forcing myself to stop thinking. I squeezed Wilder's hand for just a second before taking a deep breath. He finally let go of my hand. Slowly. As if he was reluctant. I glanced at him as he bit his lip nervously and spoke, "Okay. Good luck...baby."