Getting Wilder ✔️

issue sixteenth: he loves me he loves me not

I spent the next day looking over my shoulder the entire time and hating myself for it.

I knew the threats were most probably empty, but my stomach still clenched uneasily. Matters weren't helped by the many whispers that followed me throughout the entire day. Many times, I came close to telling Cam about the messages, but I felt like this was a personal battle of wills between me and the bullies. Matt's suspension was over, and although I hadn't seen him yet, I was sure he would be back to his old strut. 

"Man, what's kept you so angsty?" Cam asked for the hundredth time as we stood near my locker at the end of school that day. I kept craning my neck around, searching for a sign of Wilder. After our last encounter, I wasn't going to try to approach him again. I hoped that for once, he would approach me instead. For a change. But of course, I knew that wasn't going happen. 

I just wanted to see him. Even from afar. Like I always had. 

How pathetic was I?

"Nothing," I lied as I placed my biology book in my mess of a locker and shut the door. "Let's g-"

I stuttered to a stop when I saw Matt approaching me, flanked by bigger and taller people than I had ever seen in Northwood High. There seemed to be nothing different about him. No hint of remorse or even fear. 

Cam straightened up, gazing curiously at me and then at them before realization dawned on his face and his eyes darted between us nervously. 

My heart raced in trepidation and I clenched my jaw, putting on a defiant expression as they approached. I touched my arm almost unconsciously.

"Evans," Matt said, smirking. "Well, you got on your feet fast."

"Well, you came out of your suspension fast," I said, balling my fists and glaring at him even as my heart raced nervously. A dark shadow passed across his features but before he could say anything, Cam stepped in.

He grabbed my arm, glaring at Matt as he said, "Piss off, Browning." 

He started to lead me away before Matt grabbed him by the scruff of his collar and pushed him roughly against the locker. He grimaced, his face scrunching up in pain as anger flared inside me. 

"Matt, what do you want?" I asked, my voice thankfully even as I helped a seething Cam to his feet. I hoped he wouldn't try to engage them. He knew better than that. 

Matt gritted his teeth. "To show you your damn place, fag." 

Before I knew what was happening, he grabbed my t-shirt and pushed me against the locker. I was almost lifted off my feet with his sudden burst of strength. The air rushed out of my lungs as I grabbed his hands, trying to pry the iron hold away from me. His face was so close to mine that I could feel his hot breath on my mouth. 

"You've been acting a bit too over smart these days," he snarled, his eyes flashing with anger. I almost expected him to be drooling like a wild animal. For a second, I felt scared. It was pretty late and I didn't expect any teachers to be lingering around the corridors. He didn't either, which was perhaps why he was suddenly so bold. Or maybe at this point, he simply didn't care even if he got rusticated. I struggled to breathe as he growled in my face, "Feeling like a hero while sucking Collins' dick, aren't you? I know he's the fucker who complained about me. Your sissy ass would never have the guts."

Air was getting harder to come by, but I managed to glare defiantly at him. 

"Better than you," I snarled back. "Feeling like a stud while flanked by your bouncers. You're a fucking coward!"

His eyes widened in shock and he banged my head hard against the locker, making me see stars. He growled menacingly, a mere few inches from my face. I could smell his foul breath and it took all my strength to keep a straight face.