Turquoise Puppet

Chapter 10

Now I wish I could have realized sooner,

That I'd never change my mind.

When you finish watching the interview, you lean back in your chair, thinking. Then, you select an earlier part of the video and replay it for a second, pausing it quickly.

"Apparently it's because they can't seem to catch you flirting with anyone at all."

You study Alec's expression then. You know that face well.

☆☆☆

That was one of the longest nights of your life. Before the show was even over, you were already getting bombarded by call after call, message after message, all of which were from people in the town you and Alec grew up in. Everyone said essentially the same thing: if you knew, why didn't you tell them? They could have cut ties with him sooner. You replied that you didn't discuss those matters much, and that it wasn't a factor in your friendship.

Blatant lies, yet you did not feel guilty for them.

Later that night, when the old town had finally gone to sleep, you too plopped yourself down on your bed. You stared at the ceiling, then checked the time: it was just past midnight. Alec had probably gotten those calls too; it was very likely that he got many more, in fact.

With that in mind, before you could change your mind again, you dialed his number.

He picked up before the first ring was even complete.

"Koen?" There was an undisguised surprise in his voice, but other than that, his tone betrayed no emotion.

"Is now a bad time?" you asked, uncertain as always. "You must be quite...preoccupied."

"Never," he answered swiftly. "You can call anytime you need to. What's up?"

The more lighthearted he sounded, the heavier you felt.

"I..."

All of a sudden, you forgot what it was that you had called to say. He stayed silent, waiting patiently. There was no other sound from his end, as though he was really all alone, and was focused solely on this conversation.

Finally, you asked, "Are you okay?"

He sighed. "No...but I will be."

A part of you was relieved that he still told you the truth. That part of you was excited to even speak with him. However, another part of you regretted making the call, in a desperate attempt to deny your connection to Alec Warrensword.

Yet, whatever your struggles were, the conversation continued. "The glass bottle..." You trailed off there.

"...yeah, it almost gave me a heart attack. I'm fine though."

"What about your confession? The family and such?" you asked, neglecting to be careful with the way you asked it. If there was one person in this whole world that you did not have to act in front of, it was Alec—and his previous answer proved that you could still speak to him the way you were most comfortable.

"They called," he answered simply. "Did they call you?"

By now, his tone had dropped to a melancholic low. You could imagine him sitting with one hand holding the phone, the other supporting his head as he stooped down.

"...everyone called me," you admitted. "I told them sexuality was never a factor in..." our friendship, you were about to say, but stopped short before you could. You bit your lip, frustrated with your own indecisiveness. It was you who had decided to act like there was never anything between the two of you; and it was also you who hesitated to follow through with that act.

"I see," he said. "I have a request."

"What is it?"

"Say my name."

You fell silent.

"Just once, and I'll go back to normal. Please."

"Alec..."

You didn't know how you sounded as you uttered that name, but you didn't have to wonder.

"Koen, it's alright," Alec said.

"Huh? It's you that's in a predicament; there's no reason for you to be comforting me."

He let out a soft chuckle. "But you're shaking, aren't you?"

You looked down at your hands. Yes, you were.

"By the way," he added, now raising his tone back to his casual one—just as he'd promised, "If you ever need anything, just give me a call. Doesn't matter what or when it is, or how long it's been since we last spoke. Got that?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Just in case. Oh, and—don't tell Esmae we had this conversation."

"I wasn't planning to tell her anyhow."