Turquoise Puppet

Chapter 16

For myself to break through.

For me to be worth the wait.

It was the night before Alec left for college. You went on an aimless drive around town, not saying much. Eventually, you stopped in the parking lot of the local supermarket. At that hour, on that day, you were the only ones there. Under the shroud of night, you ceased paying attention to what your gaze looked like. Esmae was not there to scrutinize you, the family was not there to threaten your peace, the schoolmates were not there to divert Alec's attention.

It was just the two of you.

"What time are you going tomorrow?" you asked.

"Ten in the morning."

"I see." You looked away, once again lapsing into a state of avoidance.

But he would not let you, not that night.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" Alec asked. "We'll both be leaving this town soon. We don't have to live in its shadow."

"But...I'm afraid."

You couldn't look at him just yet, but out of the corner of your eye, you saw his gaze softening. The gentleness in that gaze spoke to your conscience—the side of you that secretly knew better, but that you hid beneath your fear.

"That's alright," Alec said, smiling wryly, "If that's what you want, I can play along."

"I'm sorry."

"It's fine."

He held out a hand toward you, an invitation. Despite what you claimed to want, you took his hand in both of yours and brought it up near your cheek. You dropped one of your hands then, and he kept his on your cheek as you kept your other hand over his.

"It's fine," he repeated. This time, it sounded more like he was persuading himself.

"Alec."

"Yeah?"

You leaned in and kissed him on the lips. He seemed surprised—surprised enough to be unable to react—and so you pulled away again.

"Sorry," you apologized again, "I shouldn't do that right after—"

He chuckled softly, interrupting your apology. "I don't mind. I was just surprised that you would do that."

This time, it was him who leaned in; and this time, the kiss was just a bit longer, but no less soft than the one you had initiated. Perhaps he did not want to burden you with his own wish after you made your will clear, but it was still conveyed fully, plainly, through his kiss.

"How can you not mind?" you asked when you pulled away again.

"It's just my destiny that I like you just that way," he said, "Selfishness, cowardice, and all. All of you." Alec then released you, resuming a proper position in the passenger's seat. "We should probably go, yeah?"

"...yeah."

As you began to drive the both of you out of the parking lot, he added, "Oh, right—if you ever need anything, make sure to give me a call. Doesn't matter when or where."