Bullied and the Bitch

Chapter 27: Never Boring

My dad bought me my own drawing board.

It's understandable, really. I kept borrowing his to work on my design. I spent all my time working on the design, seeing as how I was still grounded, and the deadline was approaching fast. And he needed it to finish his own work. So he bought me one and cautiously gave it to me, partially afraid of my response.

I know why, too. The last time he bought me furniture I had trashed it, because it didn't match my room's interior. But even though the drawing board stuck out like a sore thumb in my room, I loved it. Because then I could work whenever I wanted on it. If for some reason I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't sleep, I could just start drawing. Also, I could talk to El on my phone while drawing. Though that usually spelled disaster, because trying to draw and talking on the phone at the same time was not a good idea. Usually I gave up drawing to talk to El, because I wouldn't give up what little time I had to talk to El for anything.

I look to my bedside table, where the boxes containing our matching phones lay inside. I pick them up. Mine wasn't open either, I was going to wait till we were in school at lunch so we could open them together. And explore them together. I read the features of the phone on the back of the box for what must be the fiftieth time in my anticipation, feeling a tingle of happiness run up my spine. I haven't felt this giddy in forever. In fact, have I ever felt this giddy? I think back to my first boyfriend, who I thought I was in love with at first, but quickly got bored of and cheated on him.

Oh God, I hope that'd never happen with El. Not that I'd ever get bored with her – I was sure that was never going to happen – but that she'd never get bored of me. The thought that we were meant to be comforts me. The fact that even two months into the relationship I still felt like my desire for her would never be sated – whether I was male or female – comforted me.

I think back about the nausea she experienced three days ago, which had given me a sort of pregnancy scare. Except I'm not worried about myself now. I'm worried about my girlfriend. But she hadn't been sick at all in the last three days and by this point I'm convinced she's fine. Like she said, her period had just ended at the time. She couldn't be pregnant. She wasn't even though I came inside her that first time, right? And that had been after her period had ended too.

Though I have to admit – part of me is a little disappointed. I had spent that night thinking about how thrilling it would be if she was pregnant with my baby. My kid. I would never ever get a chance to impregnate her again, not as a female. If somehow it happened, I would take care of her with everything I had.

But I guess it was good too, that it hadn't happened. We were way too young, not to mention both female. It would be weird to explain about how the kid had my DNA.

"Bry! Are you awake yet? Mom says to come have breakfast," my dad says, knocking gingerly on my door, a habit developed from 'before'.

"Yeah! I'll be right there," I say. I grab my bag and carefully place the boxes containing our phones in it, smiling to myself.

Nothing but disappointment awaits me. El isn't in school. Homeroom had just ended... and El still hadn't turned up.

"Hey... What happened to El?" Pris asks me.

"I don't know..." I say. It's still first period, but already I wished I had given her the phones earlier so I could call her. Or at least had mine started up so I could call her landline. I hoped she was okay.

"It feels weird not to have her around," Em says, and I of course agree with this. But it makes me wonder why they had ostracized El just a few days ago, when they like her so much.