Agad kong kinapa ang aking phone nang magising. I sat up from bed, trying to absorb things, pakiramdam ko kasi panaginip pa rin ang lahat. Ilang ulit kong tinawagan ang kaniyang numero at kagayan ng kagabi, wala pa rin.
Gigil akong napasabunot sa buhok at niyuko ang ulo sa aking mga tuhod.
I felt hot liquid flowing to my knees. Hindi ko namalayan na umiiyak na naman ako. I tried squeezing my eyes shut and shaking my head. Hoping I would wake up, this is indeed a nightmare.
Instead of sulking the whole day in my unit , nagtungo ako sa kaniyang tower. Baka kasi nadrain lang ang phone o kaya ay busy. Ngayon lang din ako nagkaroon ng pagkakataon, dahil hindi ako iniwan ni Margs kagabi hangga't hindi ako nakakatulog.
She left me a breakfast with a note earlier, pero hindi ko na nakain dahil sa kagustuhang makita si Xean.
Xean won't ever do this to me. He loves me so much.
I repeatedly chanted that in my head until I found myself in front of his doorway.
Nanginginig ang kamay na pinindot ko ang pin ng unit.
Maaliwalas na unit ang bumungad sa akin.
"Love?" I shouted, hoping he's just sleeping.
Wala kasi siyang OJT ngayon dahil alotted ang araw na ito para mag-ayos ng requirements sa univ dahil graduating na siya.
Marahan akong nagtungo sa kaniyang kwarto, hindi alintana ang pagkabog ng puso sa sobrang kaba at antisipasyon.
Pikit mata kong binuksan ang pinto.
Nang magkalakas loob ay unti-unti kong idinalat ang mga mata, na sana ay hindi ko na pala ginawa.
I felt a hollow space starting to grow in my system.
His bed is empty. Where could he be? I walked around to find something. His clothes are all in his closet, so I don't think he's gone elope or something.
Walang lakas akong napaupo sa kaniyang kama. Ilang minuto akong nanatiling tulala bago napadako sa kaniyang bed side table ang tingin. Mayroong maliit na cabinet iyon sa ilalim na may pin.
Something urged me to open the cabinet. There were combinations of letters and numbers on the pins that I may press. I started guessing, and luckily it did open.
It was my initials.
Kahit dito talaga ako pa rin. Ganoon din naman sa akin, kahit saan ako lumingon ay siya ang naaalala ko.
Ang hirap talagang limutin 'pag nakasanayan na. I can't even handle the thought of forgetting him.
A medium sized box welcomed me as I opened the compartment. What could be inside this brown simple box? It must be valuable huh?
Slowly, I lifted up the lid. Various photographs welcomed my sight. Those are pictures of me from random moments, ngunit walang nakasulat sa mga iyon. I tried to dig in, and found a mini photo album.
Prying onto someone's privacy is wrong, but I am just so hopeless to get a glimpse of him. I flipped the pages carefully, simple lamang iyon, ngunit mayroon fast sketches ng mga lugar.
Below the sketches colored with watercolor, are names of nice places around Metro. Seems like an artistic version of a bucketlist. The last pages are farther destinations, and the last entry was Batanes.
I flipped the last page and saw a beautiful penmanship. It was his. My heart heated at the thought of him doing this, for me, for us.
Sa dinami-rami ng magandang kaparoroonan,
