A Curly Mess Of Emotions✓

24

I came home to find a Skype notification on my laptop. It was from Andrew Brooke.
I did not want to call him back.
Nevertheless, I did. I can't work out things with Mark unless I resolve things with Andrew. And I had to make this quick.

My blood was rushing upto my mind and I did not have a clear picture of what I was trying to do. I just knew I had to do it. The hurtful wounds of the past between Andrew and I had been left open for too long and I needed that closure. This was the only way.

Closing my door, I tied my hair up in a bun as I called Andy. Never had I ever felt this rush that I felt right now, in this very moment. About three seconds since I had dialled and he picked up.

“Hey,” he said, leaning towards the screen. “I heard about your brother.”

I gave him a bland smile and shrugged. “Who told you?” I asked.

“Carolyn did.” he said. Ofcourse, it could have only been her.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah.”
Took him long enough to ask.

“Is there anything I can do?”

Not anymore.

I shaked my head. “Thanks for asking.” I said platonically.

There was an uncomfortable silence, and awkwardness hung in the air. I took leap from my indecision.

“Actually, there is something you can do.”

“Name it.”

“Come here.”

Andrew was startled. “Come here?”

“You want me to come to Indiana?!”

“Yes.”

His mouth hung open in the air as he seemed to be contemplating something. He was contemplating how to say no, making that face he makes when he has to turn a girl down. I knew that. I've seen him do it too many times in the past.
What did he think, this was a rejection from his side? Well, in a way, it was. But it was the other way around.

I was supposed to feel sad. I was supposed to feel dejected. But instead, I felt as if while talking to him there was now a cocoon of formality between us. I didn't really need him to come here, I just wanted to talk to him about something I could very well do over video as well. But I also wanted to see how he reacted to it. But no, I did not need him here. Because the one I needed was already here.

“Don't worry, I don't want you to come.” I said, before he could say anything else. “There is something important I want to talk to you about, and we can just do it over call.”

He held his breath. I know what he was thinking. The man looked suffocated, how afraid of commitment was he?

“I am not going to ask you to date me, Andrew.” I said it out loud.

“Ah, no that's what what I-” he began but I raised my eyebrow and gave him a look and he shut up. He looked relieved. I'm happy he was.

“So what do you want to talk about?” he said in a much more cheery tone.

“I had feelings for you.”
I froze. He froze. Rapidly blinking, he mustered out a “what?”

It was more of a squeak to be honest. But I'm not blaming him.

“Let me rephrase that. I thought that I had feelings for you, when I first met you in Singapore again.”

He was now staring at me with a blank expression.
“Andrew are you listening to me?”