Faltered light

Part 5: Tranquility

Calla

He scarfs down his breakfast in no time and shovels some more eggs onto his plate. I am not really hungry so push the eggs around and hope James will let me be. When will our parents will get here? — if they get here. Don't be negative Calla.  The warm shower eases my thoughts and my stomach finally catches up, I throw on my jeans — This needs to be washed, I probably should have taken more things but I hardly knew I would be here — a clean white T-shirt made entirely of comfortable cotton and my chucks. James is taking me down to the river today so that we can catch some fish for lunch. When we leave the house, James locks up thoroughly. He makes his way to a tiny shed on the side of the house and opens the lock with a code. We step inside and there are all sorts of hardware, a lawnmower, paint, picks and an assortment of garden tools. He grabs two fishing poles and a vest that has weird looking balls dangling from the pockets. We head out into the garden. He bends down and starts digging in the soil. The hunting knife resides in his back pocket and a horrible memory of Joe flashes through my mind. When he turns around, he has a bunch of worms in his hand. Gross. "Bait", he laughs when he sees my reaction. He puts it in a container and we head to the trees. James steps through a gorgeous mirage of low hanging willows,  it takes me a second to notice that there are stepping stones that appear before us lining a trail of stone like a pathway.  Before I know it were in front of a glistening lake. The light bounces off the water and it's breathtaking out here. I wonder why James would neglect to come out here with Susan and Bruce. He sets the worms at the end of both hooks. We spend the morning laughing at my sloppy fishing technique, I catch non and he catches four. I am definitely feeling anxious. Been grounded out here brought a sort of tranquility and I have just been waiting for it to shatter. Back at the cabin we make fish and James shows me Susan's vegetable garden in a tiny greenhouse near a self-supporting water wheel. The surprise to have found fresh  tomato trees, chili's and granadillas. We find all sorts of pot plants marked down with names of all kinds of vegetables but it is not the season for them because the plants just look like random bushes. We pick what we can find and we head inside. When lunch is over, we hang out in the sitting room and James gets a fire started. "Thank you for everything" I tell him. "Uh, James. What happens next?, I'm worried that our parents won't ever show up and honestly I haven't thought of what comes next. I don't even want to think of leaving the cabin because I feel so safe here. But we can't stay here forever. Can we? Besides that, it's only a matter of time before someone — something like Joe or Mr. Cardellini comes along and what if there's more. What if you can't overpower them this time and we end up like that man. Is anywhere safe? Is the military involved yet?", "I don't know Calla"  she's so annoying when she asks me a thousand questions per minute, "but I think that's a problem for tomorrow", James pulls me closer. "Calla I..." he trails off. "What's wrong?", but before I can overthink anything again, he kisses me. 
                                     James

Spending today with Calla was interesting. I can't bring myself to stop thinking about her crude remarks and childish laughter. For the first time in my life I feel truly connected to someone — she understands me like nobody else, she asks questions and is actually interested in getting to know me for me. When I'm making the fire Calla let's down her hair and my god. She questions me but all I can think about is why her lips always seem so soft. I pull her closer and I feel the world melt away. "Calla I.." I can't stop thinking about how much I want to kiss you. "What's wrong?" She asks and I can't help my actions. I kiss her. Her lips are as soft as I imagine and just feeling her sends electricity coursing through every vein in my body. I let go and she looks at me with amazement. A second or two passes and I am about to apologize when she pulls me closer this time and kisses me. We both know that tomorrow brings uncertainty and getting lost now is exactly what we need.

Calla

James and I head upstairs and I am a little nervous. My T-shirt stays on and his eyes never falter. Is it crazy that I might be in love with this gorgeous man? I find myself wondering about the blonde he took upstairs, did she love him?  He notices my frown and he whispers, " Calla, if you don't want this we can stop", I can tell that his tone is sincere. " I'm just nervous", Its true I am nervous — nervous to let him into my bubble, nervous that if I trust him he will  break my heart but mostly nervous because I think I am in love with him and I'm not even sure I know what his deal is. When he kisses me again those thoughts just like what happens next falls to the burdens of tomorrow.