Pain, Fear, and Forbidden Love

Chapter 7

"Everything..." Kurt whispered.

"Everything?" Blaine repeated.

Kurt cursed himself. He had successfully kept his eyes dry until now. It was all coming back to him. The simplest of words could trigger everything all over again. At this point, Kurt didn't even care anymore. It was inevitable.

"I'm scared of saying the wrong thing... and memories..." he looked down. "And bullies... and death... and human interaction..."

"So... everything..." Blaine whispered.

It wasn't a question.

"Y-yeah..."

"I take it you were having trouble at your old school?"

"Accurate."

"I'm sorry, Kurt."

"Why are you sorry?"

"Well... I mean you're..." Blaine watched him for any signs of sarcasm.

He found utter confusion. Kurt was genuinely asking why Blaine would be sorry. Like as if that was the craziest thing.

"Never mind..." Kurt said.

"Is that why you moved?"

"I didn't move from anywhere necessarily. I was a-at McKinley for while... But I liked online school more." He sighed. "I don't even want to be here. My dad forced me."

"He did? Why would he force you come to one of the most expensive schools in Westerville?"

"Well... he didn't really force me... I just didn't really... object."

"Oh..." Blaine looked away from him. "Why not...?"

"Because I'm a wuss..." Kurt whispered.

It was barely audible and yet Blaine still heard it.

"No, you're not-"

"But I am... I don't stand up for myself and I probably never will. It's fine, really. I don't really care anymore."

"Kurt..."

"Why do you say my name like that!? It's not helping! Do you want me to be g-?!" Kurt paused to catch his breath. "Forget it."

Blaine was pretty shocked when Kurt said those things. Although his voice wasn't loud, it was still louder than his regular voice, thus showing his anger. By that time, Blaine was getting angry, too. But he couldn't show that.

"What?"

"Nothing. I'm just tired and you're not helping!"

Blaine watched Kurt as he grabbed his skincare products. It wasn't what he expected out of someone like Kurt- the outburst. Either way, it only made him more determined to help. It was clear there was more to him that he was letting on, and Blaine wanted to be the one to help him through it.

He wasn't mad, he was just sad at this point. Kurt didn't deserve this.

****************

I was so close! Blaine thought. I almost had him telling me everything!

He wished Kurt would just tell him. How hard was it?! He couldn't get mad again. He couldn't let Kurt see him like that. If he did, he'd never speak!

"B-Blaine?"

Blaine might've been a little enthusiastic with his answer.

"Yes?"

Kurt watched his eyes which were literally pleading with him. Already, he was regretting getting the gelled boy's attention. Again, he'd wasted someone's time and he felt he could see Blaine getting impatient.

"Um... I saw you guys in Warbler practice yesterday..."

"Do you want to join?"

Kurt shook his head no instantly after that.

"I-I was just wondering if I could-"

Listen to your amazing voice for another hour or so

"-watch... again..."

At that point, Kurt phone started buzzing so he left the room to pick up.

"Hey, Rachel..." Kurt whispered.

"Hey, Kurt!" She seemed happy. "We're going to New York for Nationals this year!! We haven't talked in a while, by the way! Oh and also my dads said you can sleep over with me and Mercedes!"

"When?"

"I can't wait to sing on a real broadway stage! The sleepover is next Saturday and Nationals is in a few months!" She paused to catch her breath. "Tell me you signed up for the glee club at Dalton so you can see us there!"

"N-no... I can't, Rachel. I sound like a girl."

"So do I! Don't be ashamed of that!" She said sympathetically.

She'd been used to Kurt's low voice and unstable personality. Of course, she'd tried to help him out the same way Blaine had but he wouldn't budge. Kurt was sure it was because Rachel didn't have 'Blaine eyes.'

Blaine wouldn't admit he was eavesdropping but he heard the words 'glee' and 'club' so he couldn't help it. It seemed clear to him that Kurt joining the Warblers was a win-win.

He'd help Kurt see his friend again and he might get a little closer to becoming Kurt's... friend... too.

*********

Kurt was in a particularly good mood after that, knowing he was going to his dream state with his best friend in a few months, but also because he would get to spend just a little bit more time with someone he needed to figure out.

He'd been curious ever since he caught Blaine looking so distraught. Not only that, but Blaine always defended him. That Sebastian kid must've found every word in the book for gay and used it on them both. (So there were bullies at this school)

The only difference was that he wasn't as offended as he would've been at McKinley. It made him laugh. It reminded him of one his old friends: Santana. She made jokes similar to his. They weren't necessarily out of hatred, but because it was nice to have a good laugh.

Then again, if you made her mad she could definitely turn a joke into a full-on competition. Kurt was thinking about this when he walked back into the room where Blaine was pretending to be interested in a text message.

"Who was that?" He asked casually, though very interested.

"Rachel..." Kurt said. "She's a friend from my old school. Apparently, Nationals for my old Glee club are in New York."

"Wait, you were in Glee Club before?" Blaine asked.

"Yes... But I quit because it didn't really up my reputation..."

"You mean there were more bullies."

Kurt slowly nodded, confused by the fact that he literally read his mind.

"Glee club here is different! People appreciate us! We're like rockstars!"

Kurt was watching Blaine light up as he spoke of the Warblers and it honestly inspired him. He had to make at least one friend and Blaine certainly seemed interested in the job.

He was looking for a way to join Glee Club and Blaine was his ticket. It was a win-win for both of them.

So what do you think?