Seal My Fate•Phantom of the Opera Fanfiction

Chapter 17: Wishing

Good morning everyone!

As always, I don't own The Phantom of the Opera, yada yada yada.

Happy July 4th!

~~~~~~~~~~~

Christine

Sneaking out had been surprisingly easy without Raoul guarding the door. The moment the first rays of dawn trickled through the window above my bed, I was up and ready to go where I knew I needed to be.

The hallway smelled of cedar and my steps echoed along the walls as I made my way down the stairs. It was noticeably colder here, too, I guessed because no one was expected to be leaving their rooms so early in the morning. Of course, some people—like Mme Giry or the carriage driver—seemed to be awake every second of the day, but the lack of the usual daytime hustle made it easy to avoid the few people who were up.

The air was in that state where it was almost raining, but not quite. The ground was dry and my hair and dress were far from soaked, but every minute movement sent a thousand microscopic droplets of water flying into any skin I dared expose to the air.

"Where to, mademoiselle?" the coach driver asked, nodding politely as I handed him a sack of coins.

"The cemetery," I told him. He proceeded to prepare everything, giving me time to change out of my nightgown.

There was already a full outfit waiting for me inside, one that I'd prepared the night before. I'd figured that since I was already changing the story, I might as well wear a more modest dress—still all black, of course, but the collar reached my neck and I wore gloves along with it. The last thing I wanted in the situation I knew was about to come was to feel uncomfortable with what I was wearing.

"To my father's grave, please."

The driver turned briefly to look at me, and in that moment I knew it was Erik. I felt a slight urge to ask what he'd done with the driver, but I resisted it, knowing that we were still more or less following the plot and that, if that much was true, the driver would be fine.

The rhythmic steps of the horses took my mind away from the present moment, allowing me to run over everything that had happened recently. It had all gone by so quickly and it seemed like this was my first opportunity in weeks to think in peace. The plot was coming forward at full speed and for once I couldn't decide if that was good or bad.

After all, was it really my place to change things? Didn't they exist to suffer?

Wasn't it cruel to even harbor a thought like that? Was it my place to not change things when I was the only person who could? What did I even need to change?

Everything comes with a price. Could I save Piangi at Erik's expense? No. Could I allow that chandelier to fall? No. How would I stop it? Could I stop it? Certainly not alone. Could I save Erik at my own expense? Moreover, could I save Erik's humanity at the expense of his safety?

All of this boiled down to one question: who was I, trying to be God when I knew I was only human?

It was too much. I couldn't do it. I needed help. I needed to tell someone. I needed to tell someone everything, no room for lies, no room for sugarcoating, no room for worrying about my own reputation. I couldn't do this alone and the only other option was to spill my secrets.

To whom, exactly? Mme Giry would certainly know what to do, but she already had way too much on her plate. Meg was my best friend—practically my sister—and I trusted her with my life, but would she know how to help? Raoul would probably know what to do, but he was already driving himself crazy worrying about me and I doubted he'd even believe me. I could tell E... I could tell my Angel of Music.