1985 (h.s.)

Chapter Forty Two

Elaine

Along with love and support, Niall also brought my homework. The rest of the night he was there was spent working on it. The two of us talked. A lot. I truly opened up to him without hesitation. He snapped me into reality and showed me why I needed to get better.

Before, I didn't really think there was another option, but there is. There's always another option. The world can be a nasty place sometimes. Full of hate and injustice. Above all of that, are the people doing what they can to change it. You can't change the world on your own; you need help and you should never be afraid to ask for it. 

Occasionally, you might need that second opinion and whether or not you believe it, there is always going to be someone willing to help. No matter how hopeless or lonely you may feel. A great tip, though, is to hold on to that person because, in return, one day, they may need your help. You should do everything to give it to them.

Slowly, but surely I was figuring my life out. I still struggled with those feelings of heartache and irritation. That was something I couldn't escape. I'd gone back to school today and it was a painful reminder of what could've been. Niall reminded me to think of what I wanted it to be. I didn't exactly know what I wanted it to be. That could be figured out later. 

Today was also my first day back at the bakery. I wasn't sure if Olive knew that Harry left. She was probably devastated as well. From what he told me, she was the only other person that knew his secrets. They were quite close and acted as if they were family, which I knew they weren't. Honestly, their relationship was something I envied. Mostly because I missed it with my own grandparents or something deeper.

 Trusting any of my family was off-limits now. I wished I had a wise family-figure that I could trust. Even though Niall was practically family, he knew about as much as I did when it came to life.

Niall and I decided that I should talk to my aunt and uncle about everything sooner rather than later. Did I want to? Hell no. Did I have to? Hell yes. How would I bring up a topic like that? 'Hey, you know how my dad supposedly died of cancer? Yeah I broke into your shed and it said he was killed.'  or 'Hey why didn't you tell me, that in two months, I'll be inheriting a business along with millions of dollars and deeds to multiple houses?' 

This was going to work out absolutely perfectly, wasn't it? Wait. I shouldn't think like that. My negative mindset was really getting to my head. Without being able to mope in my room all day, my alternative self-punishment is having to listen to my jackass self-conscious. We have a complicated relationship. Just like you and Harry, it replied. I must really be going crazy if I'm having a conversation with myself.

I didn't even know if Harry and I would be in a relationship of any sort anymore. He just left. We didn't necessarily break up, but it was obviously implied. It was weird saying he was my ex-boyfriend. The oddity of it is that one day he said he'd never leave me and then he did. He broke my promise and that made me upset. If it was almost anyone else I wouldn't care, but because it was him, it was different. He always made me believe that everything he said was true. He didn't come off as a liar. However, how could he have known what was going to happen? It's not like he could see the future, though that'd be badass.

I couldn't help letting my mind wander to how he was dealing with this. Was it hitting him as hard as it was me? Or was he just brushing it off like it was nothing? It was a terrible thing to suspect of him, but I couldn't help to wonder. Sadly, I was worried he resorted back to his previous coping mechanisms. The whole reclusive bad boy facade. It was intriguing yet, it wasn't healthy. For all I could guess, he was off fucking someone. It was bold of me to assume that. As I said, I was worried he was falling back into bad habits.