Not By Choice

Chapter Three

EDITED 11/8/2021

June 16, 2017

The, now, group of five made it back to the lodging house that Jem and Tessa had taken up residence in during their time in Buenos Aires. Jem and Alec were sitting on the roof, drinks in hand.

"Do you have a plan?" Alec asked after a long, peaceful silence. "To take the Institute down?"

Jem sighed, running a hand through his white-streaked hair. "I had a plan." He told him, suddenly sounding incredibly tired. "We were going to go in and take out the head of the Institute, head of security, the few high-ranking members, but these Shadowhunters don't follow the Clave's rules or policies. This Institute is rogue. We didn't account for this in our plan, they fight dirtier, they didn't act as expected."

Alec sighed and ran a hand down his face. "I think that the best course of action is to give them another chance to surrender, if they don't we'll rain hell down on them."

Jem shifted slightly and set his drink down. "Alec." He sighed. "We haven't talked about it. You haven't wanted to talk about it, but what you said in that meeting six months ago shocked everyone. 'I want to watch them burn.' Alec, what was that?"

"I owe nothing to the Clave, Jem." Alec said seriously. "And I'm not doing this for myself. There's nothing wrong with me, I haven't gone off the deep end. I said what my Dad needed to hear so that we can overthrow the Clave and make way for a better government. I'm doing this for Magnus and our children. They deserve to live in a world where they don't have to constantly be afraid."

Jem nodded. "I can understand that." He said, but he sounded like he was still a bit worried. "And I think that you have been immensely successful in taking the Clave down thus far."

"We have," Alec smiled and took a long sip of his drink. They sat in silence for a while, it was comfortable and neither felt the need to fill it until Jem started to speak.

"I've been thinking a lot this past week." He said quietly. "About when I first met Tessa and Will, and I realized that I can't remember the exact moment that I fell in love with her."

Alec turned to look at Jem, a slight frown on his face as his eyes drifted down from Jem's eyes down to his hand that was gripping the arm of the lounge chair that his Parabatai was reclined in.

"Do you remember the moment that you fell in love with Magnus?" Jem asked.

Alec thought about it, trying to recall the exact moment but he came up short. He had no answer to that. He couldn't really pinpoint the exact moment. When had he fallen in love with Magnus? He wasn't sure. It wasn't really a fair question, he thought, considering his soul had known Magnus long before Alexander Gideon Lightwood had even been thought of.

"There have been so many moments." Alec shook his head. "So many times that he's made my heart stop, or jump, or skip a beat. So many possibilities of when it could have happened. Before Magnus, my life was like one of those days that seem like they last a lifetime. The day where everything seems to be going wrong and then I met Magnus and despite my every defense, how many times and ways I tried to push him away, he stayed and he fought for me. He made sure that I knew that I was worth fighting for."

Alec sighed. "And then falling in love with him, it was like that good day that just flies by and it leaves you feeling satisfied and wanting more all at once." He made eyes contact with Jem again. "So, no, I don't know the exact moment that I fell in love with him, I know it's cliche, but I'd like to be able to say I fell in love with him the moment I saw him, but somehow, I don't think that's the case."