Noncandescent

The Letter, Days 1 and 2

“40 days? Are you going to tell Buck?” Bobby asks the next day, in the dining area.

“No, I’m not.” Eddie admits. “If he’s serious and wants to file, he can do that himself.”

“Divorce is hard, Eddie.” Bobby reminds him.

Eddie sips his coffee. “It could also make all the fighting stop.”

Bobby argues, “But, Eddie, you want it to stop for the right reasons.”

That leaves Eddie confuses, “Exactly what do you mean by that?”

Bobby grabs Eddie’s hand, gently turning it so it’s ring side up, “You remember what this means, don’t you?”

Eddie replies, pulling it back, “Yeah. It means I’m married.”

Bobby tries to get Eddie to see his point, “It means you made a lifelong commitment. You chose to put that ring on when you said your vows to each other. And unfortunately, when some couples say them, they’re only thinking about the good times.”

Eddie really doesn’t like what Bobby’s implying, “Buck and I were absolutely in love when we got married. Which wasn’t too long after we started seeing each other, right after Chris came home from camp, because we just knew. But now, we’re just not there anymore. Maybe we never were, and were just too scared to admit it. Okay? We’re just not working as a married couple anymore.”

That would be it, but Bobby looks like he’s not quite finished yet, grabbing a jar of peanut butter, and a jar of refrigerated hot fudge. “Look, Eddie? Peanut butter and chocolate are two completely different flavors. Made by different plants, different shades of brown, but they’re almost always put together. And when you---” but then Bobby walks off somewhere behind them for something, and when he comes back, Eddie can see it’s a tube of glue, putting it on one jar, then sticking them together.

This makes Eddie even more confused, “Bobby, what--”

Bobby cuts him off, showing him the jars again, “When two people get married, it’s for better or worse . In sickness and health. Richer or poor. ”

Eddie shakes his head, annoyed, “I know all of that already, but a marriage isn’t noncandescent. Now and again, people get hurt.”

Bobbys quick to remind him, “Noncandescent doesn’t mean you never have to worry about a fire ever happening at all. It means you’re ready when it does.”

Eddie grabs the jars. “You didn’t have to glue them together just to make a point.”, and tries to pull them apart.

Bobby stops him, “No, don’t. You do, they’re never going to be the same. Sure, maybe the jars won’t break, but there’s always going to be evidence where they used to be together.”

Understanding what Bobby is actually saying, Eddie sets the jars back down, “Look, I never claimed to be perfect, okay? But you can’t argue I’m better than a lot of scum we see out there. And if my marriage is really over, it’s not just me.”

Bobby tries to tell Eddie, “Eddie, I’ve seen both you and Buck run into buildings to save people or cut the line for people you don’t even know. But now you’re both going to just let your marriage burn itself out until there’s nothing left?”

Eddie can’t let that slide, so he leans in, “Bobby, you’re my captain, but more than that, you’re my friend. And I know how close you and Buck are. I’ve given you a lot of leeway when it comes to my personal life when I needed it. But please don’t push your luck, especially not here, not now.”

With that, Eddie stands up, and walks out of the dining area.

The next day, as Eddie’s doing his early morning run, he remembers if he’s going to take these 40 days seriously, he should probably read what his abuela gave him.

When he opens the journal, a letter falls out, so he reads,

Mi nieto,

These next 40 days should not be taken lightly. It will be hard and more difficult than not, but very rewarding. If you can commit to one day at a time for the next 40 days, the results could change your life as well as your marriage.

Think of it as a dare, given to you by those who’ve done it in the past.

Sounds simple enough, so Eddie flips the book to the first page.

Day one: Part one is actually simpler than you might think. Love is expressed in a manner of ways, and what we say is often an indicator of how we really feel deep in our souls. For the next 24 hours, spend them all without saying one negative word to your spouse. If you’re ever tempted, choose to not say it. Better to hold your tongue and be thought of as wrong then to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

Always listen first, speak slowly, and should you get angry, be quick to soothe the temper.

Proverbs 15:18

Eddie slams the book closed then, sighing. He knew it wasn’t going to be easy, but a whole day?

Later, as he’s getting ready for a shift, he drops something on the counter, right as Buck’s making coffee. “Think you can drop this off at the dry cleaners?”

Buck doesn’t look up as he replies, “With the two days you’ve had off, I would’ve thought you’d taken care of that yourself.”

Here, Eddie really wants to say something, just to let Buck know how much comments like that piss him off.

But then he remembers he can’t, packs up his shirt, and just walks away. He can’t say anything negative for a full 24 hours. He’s not going to bail before he’s even started.

Day 2: It’s hard to show your spouse you love them when you’re not motivated to. But love at its very core is not based on how you feel, it’s about showing how thoughtful you are with your actions, even when most oftentimes, there is no reward.

On top of saying nothing negative to your spouse on this day, do something completely unexpected for your spouse as a gesture of goodwill.

That seems easier, although the saying nothing negative part is still proving to be difficult.

But nevertheless, when he gets up the next morning, he’s up before Buck, setting a freshly poured mug on the counter.

When he hears Buck walk over, Eddie points out, “Hey, poured you some coffee.”

Buck doesn’t even spare a glance as he grabs his stuff, “No time.”, and walks out without even a goodbye.

Naturally, that just leaves him utterly shocked. Yes, it’s just coffee, but never in the entire time Eddie’s known Buck has Buck ever turned it down first thing in the morning. He even usually insists on making it himself.

That tells Eddie that his refusal actually isn’t about being pressed for time. It’s deliberate, just because of the simple fact that Eddie was the one that made it, the one to offer it.

Pissed, Eddie grabs the mug dumping it in the sink. Then, just for good measure, he dumps the rest of the coffee pot too.