Noncandescent

The Epiphany

Once he’s sure Buck can’t see him, he puts the candles out, then walks out the back door.

He paces back and forth several times, but instead of beating up the trash can again, he sits down at the table on the back patio, frantically dialing his abuela’s number.

She answers, “Hola, Nieto.”

“I’m sorry, Abuela, but we’re done. I can’t keep this up. I’ve given it my best, but there’s nothing left to save. It’s not worth fighting for.”

“I understand, Edmundo, but you’re only at the halfway point. This was hard for us too.”

“Abuela, you had hope everything would work out. Buck’s not even giving me an inch.”

“We didn’t have hope either, nieto. Our marriages was as good as over too. You have to ignore what you’re feeling right now, Edmundo. I know Buck’s seen you trying.”

“No, abuela, he doesn’t care. None of the things I’ve done have meant anything to him. I tried, abuela.”

“Edmundo, are you off tomorrow?”

Confused, Eddie replies, “Yeah, it’s my turn to look after Chris. Why?”

“I’m driving down there to visit. We can talk more then.”

Eddie’s quick to say, “Abuela, no. You don’t have to drive all the way out there just for this.”

“I want to, nieto. I’d really love to come.”

Hearing the no nonsense tone, Eddie concedes, “Alright.”, and hangs up, covering his face with a hand again.

Unbeknownst to him, Buck is in the guest room, crying his eyes out.

He can’t believe what he heard himself say, but it’s too late to take it back now.

No way in hell is he going to let Eddie or Chris see him like this.

“Abuela, I have to be honest here. I feel bad you drove all the way out here on a day when your hip was acting up just to see me and Chris.”

Abuela waves it off, as they walk around Eddie’s backyard, “I didn’t mind. Gave me time to think. What day are you on, 20?”

Eddie nods, “Something like that.”

Abuela nods as well, “I’d say the halfway point was the hardest for us as well.”

Eddie asks, as they start walking closer to the house, “Why’s that?”

Abuela explains, “I think this is the point when you start to realize if you’re really committed. Makes you ask yourself what your intentions actually are when it gets difficult.”

That’s got Eddie interested, “Oh yeah? Did Abuelo make it hard on you?”

Abuela shakes her head, “No, actually, I think your abuelo handled it very well.”

Eddie has to tell her, “Well, unfortunately, Buck doesn’t want anything to do with it.”

Abuela asks, “Why do you think that is?”

Eddie doesn’t bother to hide his bitterness, “Because he doesn’t love me anymore. I don’t even think he likes me anymore. He’s ignored every single thing I’ve tried to do.”

Abuela asks, as a test, “Are you reading everything in the book? All the pages?”

Eddie knows what she’s trying to ask, “You mean the Bible verses? Yeah, I’ve tried, Abuela. I really have. They’re mostly about being patient. But patience is not what I need right now.”