Noncandescent

The Commitment

“Does Buck know about your recommitment to your son, and the family?” Bobby asks him the next day.

Eddie shakes his head, “No, and if I’m being honest, I don’t think he’d care. He hasn’t exactly been open to the whole Love Dare in the first place.”

Bobby asks, “But you’re not done yet, are you?”

Eddie assures him, “No, not yet. I’m on day 21 out of 40. But Bobby, I can’t lie. Up till now, I haven’t really been fully committed to it as I should’ve been.”

Bobby says kindly, “That’s what’s really important, Eddie. A spouse can always tell when you’re just biding your time.”

Eddie nods sheepishly, “You’re 100% right on that. Can I ask you something?”

When Bobby nods, Eddie asks, “How did you and Athena get it so right? How was it so easy?”

Bobby reminds him, “There was nothing easy about it. A marriage takes time and effort. Athena is an incredible woman, but to get where we are now, we had to go through some hard things first.”

Eddie nods in sympathy, “Yeah, well, you haven’t reached the point where you seriously considered divorce.”

At this, Bobby walks away, “I wish I could tell you that was true.”

Eddie has to ask, “Was your first marriage really that bad?”

Bobby takes a look around, to make sure no one’s listening in, then, “I was with her long enough to have a kid together. But I was a complete wreck towards the end. I should’ve been the one to end things, I know that, but I couldn’t. I thought I was doing the right thing, but I wasn’t. At all. And the next thing I knew, both my wife and my two kids burned up in a fire.”

Eddie’s astounded, “Bobby, I’ve been on the 118 for a while now, and you’ve never told me about this.”

Bobby explains, “It’s not exactly something I want people knowing. Before I fell in love with Athena and married her, all I cared about was how the world had wronged me, how everyone else was to blame, but not me, Never me. The truth is I ruined their lives long before they died. But when I finally sobered up, focused on what was really important in my life, I realized how healing falling in love again can truly be. Believe me when I tell you the pain of what happened to them will never really go away. Marriage is supposed to be for life.”

Here, Bobby holds up the still glued together peanut butter and hot fudge, “That’s why you need to take your vows to Buck seriously. You need to remind yourself what it means to be a good husband, and a good father for your son. Don’t just do what’s right in your heart. The heart can be lied to. You have to guide your heart in the right direction.”

“It’s just been so hard for me.” Buck says at lunch, in the hospital cafeteria. “Saw Chim and Maddie again yesterday. Johnny’s not doing so well. It’s amazing what something like Down’s Syndrome can do to a kid before they’ve even learned to speak.”

Here, Buck stops to push his food around some, but ultimately doesn’t bother taking  a bite, “I just feel like they’re stuck. I know Maddie and Chim are amazing parents, but I know they’re going out of their minds worried about giving their little boy the best care they can.”

Ethan’s remorse is genuine, as he looks Buck in the eyes and says, “Buck, I’m so sorry. You’re pretty close to your sister, aren’t you?”

Buck nods, “Yeah, I am. We reconnected not too long ago, so it was like meeting a whole new person.”

Ethan jokes, “Ah, so she was the bratty older sister that was always nagging you?”

Buck splutters in mock outrage, laughing, “Hey, I’d say she did just fine. She was there for me in the hardest times of my life.”

Ethan agrees, “You were lucky to have her. She should be proud of the man you are now.”

Here, Buck notes, “Wow. Who would’ve thought a guy like you could possibly be sweet when he wants to be?”

Now it’s Ethan’s turn to pretend to be outraged, “Possibly?”

Buck keeps it up, “Give it time, and I’m sure you’ll eventually be the perfect gentleman for someone.”

Ethan goes along with it, “If there’s gentleman lessons, can you be my teacher?”

They share a chuckle at that, then Ethan asks, “So tell me, what exactly does your sister’s son need?”

Buck hesitates, then decides he has nothing to lose by telling him, “Well, they need a home health care aid for him, someone to cut through all the red tape. Like Carla does for Christopher. That’s definitely top priority. I’ve been talking to Carla about putting some feelers out, but it’s tough, especially when she’s already stretched pretty thin looking after Chris, as well as her other clients.”

Ethan reminds Buck, “Well, there’s no limit what someone is willing to do for family, is there?”

Buck can agree with that, “You’re absolutely right. So it’s worth making all the phone calls, no matter how many walls I hit.”

Ethan repeats, “You know, she really is lucky to have you as a brother.”

At that, Buck flashes his signature smile, and weirdly, he finds himself believing it when he hears Ethan say it.