Depressed

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When you fall so deeply in love. You're so happy with your relationship. You're finally happy for once in your life. But then you are so scared to lose the one thing that makes you happy. You have mental breakdowns because you don't wanna lose them. You know if they broke up with you you would want to be on the ground, With a knife, Through your heart. You cry when they ghost you but let them right back in when they say, "Hi." You let them right back in when you know they're just going to hurt you.

You tell them you are down, they let it slip by. So from then you kept in on the inside. You try to stop yourself from crying almost every night, but you knew there was no chance of you feeling right. All you now wear are long sleeves to hide the cuts you made when he/she didn't message you for weeks and months. You are now depressed, but you didn't want to admit it. You start to bleed out of every cut and you love that it hurts. If that special someone asked you what happened you say it was a tree, cat or dog, but they know it's not a mistake, but they didn't care enough to save you, or help you. You write a letter to your Mum and Dad with shaky hands, It said,

"Look at me now, are you proud of the ugly, gross and disturbing child you made?"

But you stopped because you knew it wasn't your parents to blame. It was him/her that should bow down there head down in shame. You stood up on the chair and looked up at the moon, Just to think, it'll all be over soon. The chair fell down as you took your final breath. It's all over because of that one boy/girl. It's all over, now your greeting death. Your Mum walks in your room and falls to the ground as she sees her Baby girl/boy hanging from the roof. The little girl/boy that she raised is now gone, your boyfriend/girlfriend walks in behind your Mum and drops down crying. He/she was faking not to care/love for you because he/she was going to surprise you. They both see the note and unfold it with care, All they do is read and stare. "How can this be fair?" Your Mum cried out. They both read with tears streaming down her face.

"I'm sorry Mum, but this world is just not the place for me. I tried so long to fix this and fit in. I've come to realize this world's full of sin. There's nothing for me here, I'm just a waste of space, I've got no reason to stay here in this awful race. It's a disgrace, I was misplaced, born in the wrong time and in the wrong place. It's ok though, cause you'll see me soon. You'll know your time has come, just look at the moon as it shines bright, throughout the night and remember every one is facing their own fight. But I can't deal with the pain. I'm not a fighter, you'll make it through the night, just hug your pillow tighter. So let the world know that I died in vain, because the world around me is the one to blame. I know for a fact, that in a year, you'll forget I'm gone, because I'm not really something to be dwelled on, that's what they used to tell me, all those kids at school, so I'm going by the law, majority rules, my presents on this earth are no longer needed any more. I hope this makes you stronger. He/she was my lover, such a shame I had to make you so very sad. But just remember that you meant everything to me, including my heart, he/she was the only one that held the key. Now it's time to go, i'm running out of space to write and yes I lost my fight, but please just hold on tight. I'm watching over you, from the clouds above. So to this world goodbye.

Fuck fakes and fuck love!

-By Leilani