Depressed

A letter to my fake old best-friend!

Dear Jay...

You come into my life, allow me to love you, give you my time, love attention and affection, just for you to walk out. You see but I...It hurts so bad. Is it fun? I don't know if it's fun or not for people but umm, It's not for me personally. I don't know, I don't like when people come into my life just so they can mess and fxck with my heart. Maybe it's just me, I don't know if i'm crazy. I don't like when people just purposely allow me to love them so they can break my heart! Umm, but basically I don't want it to happen anymore so umm, you yeah uh, Can you not do that to me please? Umm, There's not very much left, and I need to be very careful with what is left in my heart, Soo..

You fxcked me up so bad! I wish I never met you or we weren't as close... Maybe you shouldn't promise sh!t you can't keep, for real though! I don't know if it feels good to toy around with people's emotions...But that sh!t hurts so much more than you think it does!...I know that if someone you truly cared and loved walked out on you just like that you would be so fxcked up mentaly and fiscally! Next time I see you it's going to be so awkward because you're self centered as fxck and clearly don't give 2 fxcks about other people's emotions! But at least you showed me how fxcked up you are before I found out myself! I wish I didn't give you my time, energy nor affections! Fxck you and life...At this point I don't even want to be here, walking nor breathing! Maybe it's just fun for people to mean so much to others and just walk out when they knew what would happen! but I hope everything goes well for you Jay, I wish I never told you I love you or I missed you, but you were so fake I believed you when you said it. I really did miss you and I feel so dumb because I still miss you. I really wish I didn't, It's like you come and go but I'm just waiting there for you to come back to me and tell me 'I love you, I miss you' but I'm there speaking facts and you're just saying shit to make me happy just to leave again! I hate that I care for you after all you put me through! But I guess that's how fxcken fake you were! I really wish we never spoke ever! It hurts but It's ok I'm giving up...

-By Leilani 

Can someone make me the photo thing? I suck at making them...