The Girl I Knew

Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Opia: The ambiguous intensity of looking someone in the eye which can feel simultaneously invasive and vulnerable.

***
When we say party, it's the usual, writhing bodies, bottles everywhere and a very loud music. This was the first time I attended parties ever. And people liked to tell me that I was missing out a lot and I shouldn't be worrying too much of my age. I would be turning 20 in the next few months so basically I was getting older.

Dee clasped her hand with mine and Kieve's arm around my shoulder. I was so secured that it made me think that they would take care of me when things weren't good. I breathed sharply and said, "Let's do this!"

"That's the spirit!" Said Kieve.

Moments passing by, clock's ticking and all I see was the dark shadows looming over me. I would be very glad to tell everyone that I found my getaway but as I pushed through the crowd I wished I didn't come here. And so I went to the balcony where no people were making out, where twinkling stars were hypnotizing me and through the shadows of the night I found peace. Peace of mind and body as I stared up above the sky.
A year. It's all I've been waiting for- to fulfill all my dreams and be happy. People have different source of happiness and mine was to see my family living in comfort with the smile on their faces and our bond getting stronger as days passed by.

In a few months, my sister's getting married with a boy I disliked. I totally disliked but my mother's there to calm me down through phone calls and everything. Telling me I should accept my sister's fate and that she chose the life she had now. That no matter what happen we should support her and not putting her down and by not judging her actions and decisions. But she was barely 18 when she delivered their first baby boy and she was just 18 and she's getting married! I was going through the 5 stages of coping. There's Denial. I denied million times that my sister didn't messed up her life that she's a good girl. I angered everyone who kept reminding me that she's gone from being the perfect daughter to a messed up one. I also tried bargaining and I was depressed that nothing seemed to understand my concerns and the facts I presented. I didn't want to talk about the last stage yet, because I had no idea if I would be ever accepting the idea of her having a life of her own. My mother asked me to come home and attend the wedding and I said 'no'. But it wasn't always the final decision when it comes to my mother. Everyone knew that I would do everything for her and so she didn't bugged me 'til I was stable enough to make decisions. I didn't call her yet that I was coming home all I knew was that I should and no more bitter feelings when I get home.

I was one step closer to accepting the bitter reality of life.

I heard footsteps coming up my way and I turned around to see the intruder. He was wearing a dark green polo shirt with blue faded jeans and with a shy smile on his face. It's Timothy. If I was some crazy girl I would be freaking out seeing him here but I didn't because I wasn't so obsessed with him. It just made me uncomfortable that he might see beyond my deceptive facade and might break the walls I've built for years.

"Hi." Shyly, he greeted.

I pursed my lips and continued studying him under my not so subtle scrutiny. I could be cruel if I wanted to and be a saint when necessity requires it. Life is a roller coaster ride, though I've never experienced riding on them in real life. But I know what's like.

"Uh, I'm sorry if I... Yeah... I-" To witness Timothy stuttering, it's been a pleasure I'd happily watch. He was known not because of his playboy ways. Believed me, he never had gilrfriends and when asked about it he constantly say that he had his eyes already on this particular girl but didn't mention her name, not that it's my business but I was curious. I wouldn't like to voice out that curiosity. He was the basketball team captain, the heartthrob, what else? His known for his ways to charm girls out ot courtesy but he never played with them. Basically, that's my opinion of him for I'd been observing him since I became friends with Kieve.