𝑯𝑨𝑳𝑪𝒀𝑶𝑵 𝑶𝑩𝑳𝑰𝑽𝑰𝑶𝑵 •𝒃𝒙𝒃•

Fading ~ Age 13

AN: Warning, there will be the slightest of slight mature scenes ahead, although they are just in a dream.

Sometimes, he didn't know how he felt.

The brief moment of their lips locking together felt like nothing, and yet he felt at peace at the same time. The sensation of Kakashi's fingers brushing down his cheek almost made him shudder, but he held it in—he held back. It didn't feel... right in that moment, Aizen didn't feel like he could do something like that.

So, he pulled away, eyes glued to Kakashi's own, "I'm sorry..." The words slipped past, just as he felt a pang of pain in his chest, "As much as I..." he trailed off, afraid to even finish his sentence, but he pushed through the reluctance, "... want this, I just can't." The way the other boy looked at him, with so much fondness and yet with so much pain, told him that he understood.

"I already told you not to apologise." Was his reply.

What else was he supposed to do?

Reluctantly, Aizen turned away, unable to look him in the eye. Damn it... why? Why did something like that have to happen? Why'd he have to get these feelings? Was it inevitable? For the both of them?

"How do we..." He heard Kakashi speak, "... continue like this?"

That... was an important question, to which Aizen wasn't sure he had the right answer, "We can't ignore this... it's too much to ignore." It really was. How were they supposed to look at one another and not think of what happened? How were they supposed to go back to how they were, when this scene continues to repeat on and on inside their minds?

It was impossible, but there was nothing else they could do.

There was nothing else Aizen could do.

"I don't want to... stop being friends with you." Kakashi's whisper was as soft as it could get, and Aizen barely heard it over the ringing in his ears.

Friends...? Could they go back to that after they've already crossed that line? "Can you do that? Be just a friend to me?" As he noticed Kakashi was about to speak, he looked back at him and the boy went silent, "Don't say you can, don't say something that isn't true." He watched as his expression faltered and the way he pressed his teeth together.

"Then..." The word sounded forced, as if it pained him to say it, "... I'll wait."

... Wait? Did he say he would... wait? That was... "Impossible," Aizen quickly shot down his words, "How long are you prepared to wait? I can't give you what you want while I am like this...!" It was his turn to force out his words. He felt pure self-disappointment in that moment.

"I'll wait until you can."

Ah... A little part of his resolve crumbled and Aizen lowered his head, not a sound leaving him.

He'll wait...? That wasn't... an easy thing to do—to wait, "Since when...?" He mumbled out, not clarifying what he wanted to know. Kakashi would understand.

"Before the Chuunin Exams."

Painfully, his heart constricted inside his chest, "That long, eh?"

"What about you?" The question was shot back at him.

Him...? He wondered... when had it first started? The uncontrollable feelings inside him? The feelings that threatened to erupt each time Kakashi was in his near vicinity.

Bright fireworks flashed behind his closed eyelids and he got his answer.

"The night we watched the fireworks in the hospital."