𝑯𝑨𝑳𝑪𝒀𝑶𝑵 𝑶𝑩𝑳𝑰𝑽𝑰𝑶𝑵 •𝒃𝒙𝒃•

letter left unsent ~ Age 14

Dear Obito,

It feels weird for me to write you this letter, since I've never done something like this before. But, it's fine. It's not like you're ever going to read this, right?

You know, spring isn't the same without you. The cherry blossoms continue to bloom, just as they do every year, but you're no longer by my side to watch them fall. I think that was the moment I realised I had indeed lost you—the cherry blossoms fell and I was standing there, but the place besides me had long since been vacant.

Death took you by hand and it led you into another world—a world I yet cannot enter.

I still fail to see why it had to be you. Was this just a cruel twist of fate?

You know, I blame myself for surviving. I can just imagine your reaction as you read these words, but you'll never read them, so it's fine. I can write whatever I want.

Nobody will see—neither will you.

I remember the day you left along with aniki and your team. Kushina scolded you, saying how you were a knucklehead by nature, but she also said that you better come back home safely. You promised, right? And yet, they all came back.

Everyone came back—everyone except you.

Hey, Obito? I didn't get to say goodbye. I know you hate the word, but I feel like I would at least feel a little bit at peace if I managed to say it.

Damn it, Obito... Did this really have to happen? Couldn't you have been more careful? Kushina was right, you are a knucklehead by nature.

I dreamt of you that night—of you coming back, that is. I woke up feeling disappointed in reality because I really needed you to come back to me. You're my best friend, someone who I hold dear to my heart, of course I wanted you back, I'll always want you back, you know?

I'll always await your return, wherever and whenever it may be, I'll wait. Even if I have to wait for a whole lifetime, I'll plant my feet on the ground and never stop waiting.

I miss you and I don't think I'll ever stop missing you.

I'm afraid of forgetting you. Although that seems unlikely as I'm writing this, I don't know what awaits me in the future, nobody does.

My sadness is fading away—dulling—but I don't want it to. I want to feel the pain of losing you for as long as I live. This pain of mine... I need it. As twisted as that is, I crave it. You'd probably smack me if you heard this, I know, but almost nothing is constant in my life and I need an anchor to hold on to.

This pain is my anchor and I need it to last forever, otherwise I'll be swept away in the currents of time.

A lot has changed since you left, quite a lot.

I lost function in my left arm during a mission. I don't regret it. I saved Hikaru as a result, so I'll never regret doing so.

Aniki and I... we've grown apart after he became the Hokage—nice, right? He became Hokage. His and my relationship had been strained for a while and I don't know when or what the breaking point will be.

Kushina was... distraught after you left, as you can imagine. She adored you, truly, with every single bone in her body. I can't help but be reminded of you when I look at her—you smile the same smile, so... carefree and radiant. I guess it's in your nature to draw people in. But, somewhere along the way, her smile started to repel me, to push me away. I couldn't bear to look at her in the eye sometimes, since all I could see was you. It pained me, so, so much to think something like that, but I couldn't stop it.