The whole thing i think is sic

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Corey sighed as he lent on Joey. He was tired, Joey could tell. He looked disgruntled and just exhausted.

Corey didnt want to tell Joey much that had happened to him. And in a fucked up way. Joey wanted to know everything. He wanted to know what happened in the most detail so he could avoid doing anything similar.

But Corey wouldn't say a word. Joey didnt know anyone else who had been in Corey's situation so he wasnt sure if it was normal to not want to talk about it or not but he wanted to support his boyfriend.

Corey looked at him. "What?"

"Can...can we talk about it?"

Corey cocked his head. "Talk about what?"

"What happened to you...you're...well...with your best friend?"

Corey sighed heavily, his heart rate speeding up as he felt irritable "he raped me...what else do you want me to say?"

"Well how did you feel?" Joey asked kindly.

Corey blinked. He had never been asked that before. He was kinda thrown into the shark tank. Everyone turns on people like him. Theyd say it was his fault and he needed to man up.

"You dont have to answer if you-"

"Hurt!" Corey said loudly. "I felt really fucking hurt...and betrayed. He was my rock, my sense of safety. I kinda saw him as the dad that wasnt there in my life. I trusted him with all my secrets, everything, like shit dude...I felt so bad." He shook his head holding his knee "theres no words powerful enough to describe it. You die."

"Die?" Joey asked

"Yeah." Corey nodded "you die." He rolled his eyes at himself. "Its like, your soul, it splits and it just cant feel anymore. It doesnt exist. It doesnt want to exist."

Joey nodded "that sounds hard."

"My gram knew something happened. We came to vist a couple weeks later, I used to enjoy playing, because..." Corey closed his eyes painfully "because playing and being a kid took away the memories of the molestation..." he sighed "it made me feel normal and that I could mask." He sighed "but after that I felt I had too grow up. There was no playing. It was life. It was kill or be killed and I almost was. I almost fucking was."

"Wh-"

"I know what you're gonna say. He tried to strangle me." Corey sighed "full on just grabbed my throat and...fuck. everything about being down there." Corey felt a lump in his throat "he held my wrists down...that's why I hate them being held i guess. Why I yelled at you for holding them. He dug his nails in." Corey played with his wrists "I can still feel it sometimes. He bit my lip way to hard. He scratched me and bruised my ear.. he was so horribly violent it...it blows my mind how I didnt die. But its not fair he didnt kill me because now I get to live with the memory while he is fine."

Joey sighed "I'm sorry. It's not fair. You didnt deserve it."

Corey shrugged as he lit up a cigarette "I kinda think I did though."

"Why would you say something so horrible?" Joey asked looking hurt.

"Well i think karma is a thing and if I wasnt such a rotten kid maybe-"

"No!" Joey yelled "do not go there. You were a child! Children ask for nothing!"

Corey blinked at Joey's harshness before he shrugged again.

Joey hugged his boyfriend swiftly "I'm sorry."

"I just wish the memories would stop." Corey said

"Have you ever tried to overcome them?"

"What do you mean? No!"

"Look, you love me right?" Joey asked

Corey nodded

"And you trust me?"

"I guess."

"Give me your wrist." Joey said

"What?" Corey asked stunned

"Corey, let me hold your wrist. It's just me. That's all you got to think. Here, put it in my hand."

Corey looked at Joey like he was crazy before slowly lower his wrist into Joey's hand.

Joey slowly curled his fingers around Corey's wrist as Corey hitched his breath.

"Its okay!" Joey nodded gently "it's just me."

Corey nodded as be focused, watching Joey and his wrist.. it was gentle, with Joey's fingers just lingering on the skin.

"I'm gonna wrap them round tighter now?" Joey said "okay?"

Corey nodded again as joey wrapped his fingers round.

Corey's breath hitched again.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah."

Joey smiled as Corey smiled back, before Joey let go and Corey let out a sigh.

"See it was okay!" Joey assured.

"Yeah, it wasnt bad." Corey said holding his wrist.

"I love you." Joey said

"I love you too."

"You were brave." Joey nodded

"Ah fuck. Dont patronize me." Corey laughed as he smiled. He was greatful for Joey, and how Joey put up with his shit every day. This man was everything, and Corey couldnt repay that but that was okay because what Corey couldn't repay he made up for with his own twisted kindness.