The whole thing i think is sic

Chapter 13:

"Youve gotta stop doing this!" Joey snapped as soon as he saw the person who stood at his door. Looking down at him, which was ironic really.

"Hey, dont be rude. I've come to see you."

"I dont know if I want to." Joey said coldly.

"Why?"

"Because you keep on doing this." Joey sighed "you do this all the fucking time."

"I do what all the fucking time?"

"You and me, we have a moment, we always have a fucking moment, and then you push me away, you push me away and ignore me for weeks on end. What's with that? It fucking hurts you know. It fucking hurts!" Joey snapped slamming the door in Corey's face.

And Corey stood there, two weeks after his attempt, dumbfounded.

He came to apolgies, he came to make amends and he was being treated like this bad guy.

But a retaliation came as Joey's words repeated "we have a moment and then you push me away." And it hit him he was indeed the bad guy. He did do that and he was hurting Joey in the process. Fuck. He hadn't even realised it which made matters worse.

He sat on the step in front of Joey's door looking up at the grey Iowa sky and playing with the bandages on his wrists.

He was the bad guy, because he realized that Joey wasnt wrong. Most of the times he fell out with Joey was when Joey got to close for comfort and he couldnt cope with that. But that wasnt Joey's fault. Not that it was his fault really either. Joey may have been the only person he fucked from the heart yet he still didnt want him too close.

Joey did that a lot, get too close for comfort, and the problem was Corey wanted Joey to be close, he wanted Joey to push him out his comfort zone.

But he wasnt ready.

Hence he panicked and pushed him away.

He did maybe like Joey more than he thought he should or ever would. He found Joey agreeable and caring and he deifnelty liked Joey. Heck he'd even want to date him one day maybe. Despite them both being men, which Corey had always liked both of the genders they had their pros and con, he always thought he'd end up with a women, in a hetronormativeway. But right now he wanted Joey.

Shit!

He wanted Joey. He always did.

But he wasnt ready.

He wasnt ready to give that trust to anyone. He didnt even trust his grandma to the full extent and he hated to admit that. And to top it off, in the most stupid way, he was afraid of men. He was. He got aggressive frightened, but how could he trust them after they all seemed to fuck him over?

His dad, fucked off didnt care for him didnt even care to know him for birth.

All his moms boyfriends that beat not only him, but his sister and his mom too. Scars that run deep from them, scars that turned his heart dark. The drunken monsters that were control freaks.

The bullies that used to pick on him and beat him. Hurt him and humiliate him. Made him feel like the world was really better of without him.