ALEXIS
I banged on his front door seeking my questions be answered. His mother answered the door and smiled at me. My hard glare transformed into a nervous one.
"I-i-i-i-i-". I stopped and huffed unable to speak to a person of authority. My breaths beganto get shakey and I started to tremble. I clenched and unclenched my jaw 100 times counting each one.
"Sweety, are you looking for chris?"her sweet tone soothing my mind a bit. Still looking at the floor I nodded. She moved from the doorway gesturing me to come in. I slowly entered the house. A burst of tingles flung throughout my body beginning in the pit of my stomach. I began to receive hot and cold bursts in my spine making me sweat. I shouldn't have come here. I should have let it go. I just wanna go home.
She pointed up the stairs and then sat on the couch. I walked up the stairs taking a gulp of air trying to calm my nerves. I tucked my bottom lip under my teeth whisper-shouting the word 'fuck'. I bit my cheek until it bleed.
I heard his voice. He was talking......to himself?
"No, no, no, you can't do that!".
"Uh...yes you can"
"Uh nah".
"How are you gon-"
I interrupted him by clearing my throat.he looked at me surprised with his cheeks flushing a raspberry red.
"U-u-u-uh, w-w-whattt".
"Are you gonna answer the questions I asked you?". I asked coming into his room and sitting next to him on the bed. My backpack sat beside me but soon fell to the floor.
"What questions?" He asked playing dumb. Our faces were inches apart, and he kept glancing at my lips and then my eyes. It made me mad that he couldn't even concentrate on out conversation.
"Stop that!" I shouted.
"Stop what?!" He shouted back. My face scrunched up as I looked into his eyes for something. But all I saw was.........lust? Was he really turned on right now? Soon he leaned in more. I flipping froze scared to move an inch out of place. His soft plump lips brushed mine, making me wanna barf. My breaths grew short, and I started to shake again. I zoned out. Totally lost. I snapped out of it when I realized where he was touching.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?". I screamed. I was scared. His facials didn't changed, but I swear I saw a micro expression of a slight smirk. His hand still THERE. He moved closer to me and grabbed my face roughly making me kiss him. He forced his tongue down my throat. My screams were muffled through his mouth. I started to punch and kick him. This can't happen again.
Once he stopped kissing me to breath I screamed my loudest. I heard footsteps rush up the stairs, but before they came into view Chris removed himself from above me. I immediately got up out of his bed. Soon Joyce came in the room.
"What!? What happened?".
"I don't know mama, I was in the bathroom and she just started screaming". Chris claimed. I looked at him crazy, and then back at joyce.
"Baby are you okay?". She asked approaching me cautiously. I can't go through this again! I started to get teary eyed, and started to have a panic attack. Joyce embraced me in a hug.
"Christopher Maurice what did you do?! Tell me right now!". She shouted.
"Mama-".
"Tell me!". Her voiced roared throughout the house as I clung to her shirt. He fell to his knees.
"Don't leave me mama! Please it wasn't my fault, you know what happened!".
"GOD DAMMIT CHRISTOPHER!". He laid there rocking back and fourth on the floor, with his head in his knees weeping and mumbling, "please, please don't leave I'm sorry". I'm not sure who he was talking about or to.
"I have to speak with you". Joyce looked at me serious. I nodded my head calming down. Theres something seriously wrong with Christopher.
-
I sat on the couch awaiting Joyce' presence. She sat next to me and looked at me emotionless.
"I apologize for Christophers behavior, we are waiting for his anti - psychotic pills prescription to come".
"What?". I asked confused. She sighed, then said.
"Look, Christopher has bipolar-depression, bipolar - mania, over aggression disorder, and border - line personality disorder". She looked at the floor playing with the corner of the pillow. My jaw dropped. I couldn't believe he was so fucked up in the head.
"Oh my god". Was all that escaped from my lips.
"Symptoms that he has are: suicidal thoughts and actions, acting on impulse, aggressive episodes, blacking out and not remembering anything, hallucinating both visually and audible, sexually derived impulses, fear of abandoment, identity realization, and inappropriate and intense anger."
I felt terrible for him. I can understand why he got mad when I asked what was wrong with him. I know and understand what it feels like when people think or assume your crazy. Feeling like and outsider. Scared to tell anyone about your thoughts, thinking that they'll get so scared and judge you. I put my face in my hands and closed my eyes, letting everything soak in.
"Oh Christopher".
