ALEXIS
I sat there, astonished. I glanced up to See mama j, crying a little and I felt extremely terrible for yelling at him earlier. I rose from my spot on the couch as joyce looked up examining my movements. I patted her back and started to make my way upstairs. My breathing shortened as I was afraid to see him. I'm not scared of his disorders, I'm just scared something will happen, and I refuse to be remembered of my past.
As I made my way up stairs I started to tremble. Counting each step as I walk up the extremely long stair case. A million and one thoughts rushing throughout my head. I placed my hands on the cold brass nob opening the door to Christopher laying down with his back facing the door. His shoulders moved up and down as I heard his breathless hiccups, and sniffles.
"Christopher". My voice barley audible. At first I didn't think he heard me. But as soon as I said his name, his movements stopped. He completely froze. I began to worry as I neared him more. I stood directly behind him, hovering over his still figure. I reached my hand out to caress his face. As I was about to put my hand in contact with his skin, he grabbed my wrist. He sprang up and let's just say if looks could kill....
"What do want!?". He roared, each word drenched in cold venom.
"I-i-i-i-i-". I couldn't talk. I started to hyperventilate. I tried to calm myself down using the breathing techniques my therapist told me. Repeating the words she told me to say. 'Your not in any danger' 'just calm down' 'your fine, perfectly fine'. I breathed in and out slowly. In through my nose out through my mouth. Closing my eyes counting each breath until I got to ten. I opened my eyes, and looked at chris. He was staring at me in amusement.
"What are you scared of me now?". He questioned smartly. I stayed silent. I could not speak. My therapist said during my process of calming down, I shouldn't speak as it would cause me to over react.
"HUH?!" He screamed, getting up. He glared down at my tiny frame. Did he get taller? I shook my head. He realized what he was doing and sat on the bed. I sat next to him and placed a comforting hand upon his shoulder.
"Christopher it's okay". He looked at me and just broke out in tears. I brought him into a hug as his face lay in the crease of my neck. "No, no its not! I just had thought of hitting you!". He cried.
"Chris, it's not your fault, you'll only get better". He just shook his head no.
"Who would have thoughts of hitting such beauty?". Okay, that last comment made me blush. Hard. I felt uncomfortable and I'm sure he sensed it.
"So my mom told you all of everything that's wrong with me?". He asked still in the crook of my neck. I nodded making sure he could feel it. "I have disorders too". I mumbled. He shot straight up and looked at me in shock. "Y-you do?". He stuttered. I nodded looking at him.
"W-what are t-they?". He gulped.
"Social anxiety, and avoident personality disorder, I take pills for them, I go to therapy just like you." I assured him. He bit his lip trying to with hold a smile.
"So what are your symptoms?".
" being extremely anxious in social situations, trembling, vomiting, tingling or numbness, being extremely insecure, not wanting to be in a social situation unless you know you'll be liked. Not wanting to say something 'foolish' if you know you'll get judge for it, the fear of embarrassment or judgment, mood changes, laziness, and emotional depression". I said all in one breath remembering the stuff my therapist had said. He looked at me.
"So you can understand, how it feels? To be 'crazy'?". He asked. I nodded. More than you'll ever know Christopher.
merry Christmas you guys! Mine was great! How was yours? So yes, I actually do have these disorders, yes I go to therapy, but I stopped taking pills, since I've gotten better! I hope you all have a blessed and happy new year!
HAPPY HOLODAYS!!
P.S: I got the pink print! Nicki slays my life!
