Corona Virus in The Cimorelli Household (A Cimorelli FanFic)

Katherine

I wake up and glance out the window. It is pitch black. I press the home button on my phone and it lights up, displaying the time: 2:07am.

Ugh.

It's been 3 days since Christina told us she and Amy are probably coming home. Though that has been exciting, I am so worried about Lisa. I've barely been hungry and I've been having really bad anxiety attacks. I wake up in the middle of the night frequently and can't fall asleep. And though I've been clean form the blade for these three days, my longing to cut is getting unbearable. This morning I lie in bed quietly for a few minutes, desperately trying to fall asleep so I don't succumb to my urge. But after 10 minutes, I can't resit it anymore. I get up quietly and sneak down the hall to the bathroom. Max will kill me if he finds out I did this so I have to be really quiet.

Once I'm in the bathroom, I grab Dani's razor- Max took mine away- and slide down the wall. I slowly press the blade into my wrist and sigh in relief as the pain from the past few days floats away with the blood flowing out of my wrist. I forgot how good this feels. The physical pain magically erases my mental pain and it feels so good. I make another cut and watch, mesmerized, as the dark red blood drips down, down, do-

"Kath?"

I jerk my head up and see Lauren standing in the open doorway. I silently curse myself as I realize I left the bathroom door slit open.

I am about to respond when she backs into the hall and runs in the direction of Max and I's room. No!

I get up and run after her. "Laur!" I whisper shout so I don't wake anyone else up.

She steps in front of the door and turns around to look at me.

"Did you hear me?"

"Yes. You can't be doing this Kath- I have to tell Max. We'll help you through this."

"No, please don't tell him," I start to cry. "He'll be so angry"

"Kathy," her gaze softens. "He won't be angry. He's your fiancé. He cares about you. But hiding things won't do anything. Sorry." With this, she opens the door.

Knowing that I can't do anything to stop her, I go to the bathroom and clean my fresh cuts, washing cool water over them and then putting away the blade in it's assigned drawer. Just as I am finishing up, Max runs into the room and.looks around wildly, as if expecting to see me splayed on the ground, dead. When he sees that I am alright, he hugs me tightly. "Kathy."

"Max."

"Why didn't you ask me to help you? We could've worked through it."

"I needed the blade so bad."

"No. No, you didn't. There are other ways to cope, Kathy. Better ways."

"Like what?" I whisper into his shoulder.

"Like...like talking, and crying, and letting yourself hurt, and sitting in the hurt, and then doing things that will help your. body and mind heal- not hurt your body."

"But, I just always have this urge," I try to explain. "Like, if I cut, everything feels okay."

"I know that's how. it feels now, but next time you feel like that, tell me. Just tell me, and I'll help you. Maybe you should call your therapist?"

"I'm...too scared."

"Okay, I won't force you, Kathy, but I think you should consider it."

I nod and hug him tighter. He leads me back to our room and we lie down together. Max holds me tight and after a few minutes, I drift off to sleep.