Corona Virus in The Cimorelli Household (A Cimorelli FanFic)

Amy

*A week later*

BEEP BEEP BEEP, my alarm blares obnoxiously. I moan and move my hand to the top of it, trying to find the snooze button. I push it and the alarm shuts off as quickly as it started. Now awake, I lie in bed and stare at the ceiling for a few minutes, willing today to be a good day. As soon as I get up, I pull the scale out from under my bed. Come on. Let me be lighter. I step on it! 109. Yes! Half a pound lighter than yesterday! My happiness is short lived though. Next, I go into the bathroom and look in my full length mirror. I spend at least half an hour scrutinizing my entire body, and all the things I hate about it. I sigh. Just another part of my daily routine. I pinch all the parts of my body with extra fat. I especially hate my arms. It just isn't fair! All my sisters are so beautiful, tall, and skinny, and I'm just a fat potted plant in the midst of a sea of beautiful skinny redwoods. I don't know when I started feeling like this, but I can't imagine not feeling it. I shake myself out of my thoughts and get dressed, pulling on a flowery shirt and matching it with black jeans that I can barely get on. It doesn't look right, but what can I do? It will look good when you lose twenty pounds, I tell myself.

***

"Amy!" Dani's voice shakes me out of my thoughts. "Ready to film? We need to tell the fans what happened and ask them to pray for Lisa."

It is later in the day and I feel lightheaded because I haven't eaten. But I know that if I eat I'll get even fatter, so I ignore the hunger pangs and force myself to focus. As we get ready to film the first part, I grab a pillow from behind my back and place it in front of my stomach. There. That feels a little more comfortable. After we finish filming, I ask Dani if I can watch her editing. She agrees, so I sit down next to her on the couch. I wish I could stand up because it burns more calories, but she would just think I'm weird. Dani pulls up the video and I instantly cringe as she begins to edit. I. Look. So. Ugly. My face is making the weirdest expressions and looks so fat. My laugh sounds disgusting and when I talk it sounds like somebody is strangling me. I instantly want to cut my part out of the video. "I look disgusting," I mutter, not thinking Dani will hear me, but she does and looks at me oddly. "No you don't Ames, you look great."

I force a smile and say, "thanks," even though I know she's just saying that to be nice. After a few minutes, I can't bare to even look at myself anymore so I go up to my room. I should get exercise, otherwise I'll be even more fat. I decide to go for a run, since that burns more calories than a walk.

***

I had a really good run. I went for 5 miles and didn't stop once. I'm really proud of myself, if I keep going like this, I'll have lost weight in no time. I flop onto my bed feeling sweat -that long ago soaked through my bra- drip down my back, and daydream about losing weight. I envision myself in my mind, twenty pounds lighter. Everything would be better.

"Dinner!" I hear a shout from downstairs, and jerk out of my daydreaming trance, glancing at my phone. Holy cow, it's been forty-five minutes. "Dinner time!" Christina shouts again. My stomach grumbles at the thought of food, the forbidden fruit, the substance that I haven't allowed myself to have all day. I go downstairs, where Nick is talking to Christina. "...cooking dinner? You had a baby last week sweetie, you should've let me do it."

"I know, but I seriously needed to do something to feel useful after lying in bed all week, and I felt good enough to do it," she sighs.

"Okay, fine," he kisses her on the top of the head. "I'm glad you're feeling better."

I sit down at the table and wait for all the others to join us. It really hurts me that there is an empty seat where Lisa use to sit. I need them to find her soon. I can't wait to hug my sister and tell her how much I love her. On the topic of Lisa, I feel so bad for hating my body when my sister is missing, but I just can't help it.

"Are you guys hungry?" Kath asks enthusiastically. "Cause I am!"

"Yeah!"

"Really!"

"I'm pretty hungry too."

Chad looks down at his plate and then pushes it away. "Not me."

"I am!" Dani breaks the awkward silence.

I don't say anything, hoping people will forget about me. Ironically, Christina serves me first. She heaps white rice, peas, and an entire chicken breast onto my plate. The calories start to build up in my head at a break taking rate. How much is the chicken? How much is the peas? I don't even wanna start thinking about the white rice! I can't eat this! I'll be even fatter than I am now, which I don't even know if that's possible.

I stare at my plate as I hear everyone else around me begin to eat. I look up at Christina is staring straight at me. To get her to look away, I quickly shove a forkful of peas- lowest calorie on my plate- into my mouth. As I expect, she looks satisfied and turns her attention elsewhere. I swallow the lump of peas, which to my dismay, taste really good. My stomach growls louder and louder throughout dinner until I can't bare it any longer. I cut my chicken into tiny pieces and take small bites of it, not even to quench my hunger but enough to hold me over. Ugh.

***

I step on the scale after dinner, praying fervently and see that I've gained half a pound. I sigh. You fat idiot, I reprimand myself, and then step into the shower. I turn the water up to the highest it will go, but even standing under the warm stream of water, I am still cold. I shiver the entire time I take my shower and then get out and get into my Pajamas as fast as possible. I don't want to see my body anymore. Just another day in my life.

BASED ON PERSONAL EXPERIENCE :(

I LOVE AMY IRL, AND I THINK SHE'S ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL ❤️

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