Time heals and distance makes the heart fonder
For a single mother like me, the two are fatal.
'He's my father!' He yelled
His father
his father
his father!
Where was his father when I was working myself to the bone to ensure he was clothed, fed and educated?
Where was he then?
'You were always absent and I felt a fathers void!' he yelled yet again
Yes, I was never there that's why I got arthritis today because I was washing my age mates laundry whilst he was dropping every skirt he came across.
I wasnt there but you always found freshly baked bread on the table, every morning. Accompanied with steaming tea. Whilst the only thing that kept me warm was the 5am steam train to braamfontein.
I looked in his eyes and decided to keep that inside.
'I will try to come during weekends but in the meantime,look after him' ,he instructed.
I looked at his burnt face and smelt his woren trousers reeking old cigarette with spots of dried shit!
Here, he was!
The shit excuse of a man who gave me life and buttered it
All I could see was the younger me laying on the floor, begging him to live. The younger me on my knees praying for him to loose his promiscuous ways. And yet I am expected to care for him?
I wished my son remembered the night I ran away with him, because on the faithful night, he too also lost his life,to his hardened belt yet always loose when Mavis dropped it to get his last sieling and came back to slam me against the walls cause I didn't provide him with enough food!
I wished he would remember being bed stricken for 2 weeks because that motherfucker gave him drugs just so he would stop crying and he'd fuck his mother in peace
HIS MY FATHER
Where was he when we moved from home to home?
Whilst I was selling my pussy to buy baby formulae,he was at the tavern shaming me for taking care of his responsibilities
But now that My Son lives in this huge house now that sis Joyce doesn't want him now I'm expected to share a house with him and care for him!
Okay boy, your house your rules!
Has he no heart?
He was doing to me what his father did
But I still smiled cause I was just a old woman with nothing but her child's degree to show
