Ben Hargreeves x Reader - Umbrella Academy

Chapter Two

Chapter Two - Times Have Changed

I frowned, grabbing my keys, bag and coat. I ran out of the door after turning off the TV, jumping in my car and driving to our old house.

When I pulled up and saw everyone else's cars, I knew that I'd be greeted by people which was the opposite of what I wanted.

I walked inside the old front room, looking around as Vanya and Allison were hugging and smiling. I grunted, walking past them and up the stairs.

"What's wrong? You weren't ever like this as kids?" Vanya asked, sympathy in her voice.
"Yeah? Well times have changed, Vanya, we aren't kids anymore." I called down, trudging to the top of the stairs.

"Listen, ever since you found out Ben died, you've secluded yourself from everyone and everything. We've all moved on, you need to too." Allison yelled, in return I flinched.
I heard Vanya and her continue talking, oblivious to what had just happened.

I continued to Dad's office, greeted by Klaus rummaging through the drawers and boxes in the desk.

I chuckled, crossing my arms and walking up to him.

"Found anything good yet, Klaus?" I joked.
"The old saddo has nothing! Just a bunch of old, crap books!" He chuckled, throwing a book back into an open drawer.

"Seen this yet?" I handed him a box, which he snatched and hid it in his trousers under his coat.

I laughed, pulling him into a hug. Even though he smelt of drugs, I still liked hugging him.
I patted him on the back and let go of him.

I laughed, waving as I walked away and back to my room. I opened the beige door, memories flooding through. I looked through the window again, like I used to do when I was younger.

Still closed for renovation, huh?

I figured that maybe I should go to talk to someone, like Diego.
I walked out of my room, jogging to the living room.
There I saw all of my siblings, talking. I presumed it was just a secret.
But no. They held a family meeting without me.

I laughed, despite being disappointed.
"Family meeting without me?" I chuckled.
"Listen, it's not what it looks like. We all thought you were asleep." Luther tried to explain.
"Yeah, nice to know my family care about me." I frowned, storming off.
I heard Five's muttering; "Such a temper."

I ran to the library, the place I went as a child to calm down.
My brothers and sisters always knew of come here if I felt down, like a sort of therapy room.

I sat down on one of the bean bags, a book in hand. I curled up into a ball, sticking my head in the book and reading.

About five minutes later, Klaus came running bursting the door.
"Come on, Y/N, why are you so upset?" He whined, sitting down next to me.
I groaned, putting my arm around him and putting down my book.

"Ben misses you." I flinched.
"I miss him too." I smiled, choking on my tears.
"Let's go, the guys want to speak with you." Klaus dragged me out of my seat and down to the academy.

Once we arrived, I was bombarded with noises. I groaned, wiping my eyes, listening to Five rambling on about some 'Apocalypse' coming in eight days - it all was a mess, I didn't even realise he was back.

"Where's Five, I'd like to talk to him." I muttered, walking up to the rest.
"I'm here, what is it." He answered, grabbing my arm and spacial jumping to my room.

"Well, you aren't good at advice when it comes to this.. ever since Ben died, I've been having suicidal tendencies. I just.. I can't live without him, Five." I had confessed.
"Y/N, that's horrible. I can't imagine how you feel." He was shocked. "Ben wouldn't want you to feel like this, remember that."
I smiled lightly, hugging my brother. He pulled away, tears threatening to fall, I could see him biting his tongue.

"Thank you, Five." I smiled, walking out of the room.
"Please, don't do it." He said as he jumped.

I was going to do it, I had to. No ones words could encourage me enough to keep going, nothing was persuading me.
I walked to my room, grabbing a long rope from a drawer that we used for skipping as kids. . I took the light out of the socket, replacing it with the long piece of string.

(if you haven't read the trigger warnings yet, please do. This book contains extreme themes that can trigger, upset and harm people. Thank you.)

I frowned, I wouldn't do it now, maybe a few days. I just wanted to prove Five I was strong.

I took the knife that I'd taken from Diego, flipping it about in my hand. I drew it to my wrist, digging my nails into my skin. I flinched as it dug into my flesh - I bit my lip to stop my screaming.

After a while I was numb.

A placed down the bloodied knife, covering the cut with my sleeve.

I walked back down to the others, who were eating. They all had their separate meals, no one talking. One plate awaited, probably mine.

I walked over the the chair, sitting down and grabbing my knife and fork.
The plate was immediately dragged from I front of me and onto Luther's mat.
Five gave him a swift glance.

"Save some for Y/N." He mumbled.
"Ugh, she won't eat it anyway." Luther groaned as he ate the last forkful.
Five looked at me and I stood up.
He walked to the kitchen with me and whispered.
"Are you sure you're okay with me saying it? I feel bad giving away your secret."
"Five, it's fine. You can tell them." I mumbled.

We walked back, five handed me an apple since I didn't have any dinner.

"There's something I'd like to say.. before you all disappear." I spoke.

"What is it?" Allison asked.

"She's depressed, she wants to commit suicide. Ever since Ben died she couldn't handle it." Five said before I could begin.
"I'm holding on for now.. Until the apocalypse is over.." I silently groaned.
"I just wanted to let you know, unless I couldn't hold on any longer."

Klaus ran and hugged me, incoherent words that sounded like he said 'Please don't. I love you.'

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End of chapter two
Word count : 1129
Literally the worst chapter I've written but I'm sleep deprived and bored.

[ INCASE YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED, THIS BOOK IS BEING REWRITTEN AS A SEPARATE BOOK. CHECK THE LATEST CHAPTER FOR MORE INFORMATION ON THIS. ]