written 1/8/2019
revised 6/8/2020
it doesn't seem like the lights will dim anytime soon,
i've got love for this one girl but
she doesn't have love for me
and i've been crying in the shower
wondering where my life's going
and when it'll end; hoping soon.
it doesn't seem like the world's holding up for me,
i've been going strange lately—
only my mother's there to watch me
and i've got tears that don't stop falling and a head that keeps breaking over and over again.
it doesn't seem like my music is helping anymore,
my throat feels tight and i don't know
where to go anyways.
all i know is that i want to kiss her
but she doesn't think that of me
and it's making my skies a whole lot heavier.
i miss my smiles
replaced by inevitable, unstoppable sobbing in the morning car ride to school—
i miss the way i used to be okay,
but now i'm not and i hate myself every day because of it.
