My Delicate Sunshine |COMPLETED|

First Step To Forgetting

I went home and all I did was cry. Kinausap ko si mommy because I know she felt the same way when dad cheated on her. Now it already made sense to me, this is how it feels to be betrayed by someone you trusted so much.

"Ganito pala ka sakit mom. I never thought I would experience the same misery. "

Sa laki ng bahay, bumolabog ang echo ng aking pag iyak. I've been hurt before but this is the first time I have been betrayed. Gustohin ko mang maging katulad ni mommy, I can't. I'm not as strong as her. Masyado akong nasanay sa buhay na lahat ay nag mamahal sa akin. Hindi ako naturuan ni mommy kung paano maging siya.

"Alam natin pareho na fully concious ang ama mo nung nagloko siya anak. But this, you know he isn' t in his right mind. He's doing this way because he has an amnesia."

Pinahid niya ang luha ko at ngumiti.

"You know what, nag mana ka talaga sa akin."

Tinitigan ko lang siya. Her smile made me wonder of what she feels right now. Her old face still makes her beautiful as she smiles. Di ko alam kung nararamdaman niya ba talaga ang sakit na nararamdaman ko pero, alam kong gusto niya akong ngumiti din.

Sabay ng pag kurba ng aking labi ang pag patak ng aking luha.

"Ayan, smile."

"Okay, what do you mean by this mom." I wiped my tears.

"Do you still remember what I told you long ago? Let the anger go, forgive and take the risk to stand up again. It doesn't mean to be broken again, it means healing."

And by that, natauhan ako. I realized, I have a lot of reasons to fight again. Isa na riyon si mommy. Mali ako nung inisip kong hindi niya ako tinuruang maging siya dahil anak niya ako. Kung ano siya, yun narin ako. I am as strong as her.

"Don't worry about him, because you knew what he felt isn't real. We knew, that the moment he remember everything, he'll comeback to you. He said it already on his proposal. You are the only woman he sees his future with. Wala ng iba. So stop being worried dahil dadating parin ang araw na maaalala ka niya."

I hugged my mom so tight. She indeed made ne felt lighter. "Thank you so much mom."

"And about her." She paused as she pulled herself from my hug. I know who was she reffering to.

"Don't let her see that she's winning. Make her wonder why you aren't threatened."

It was my step sister.

***

I woke up with the brught sunlight reflecting from my window. Bumangon ako and got shocked as I saw my bestfriend sleeping peacefully on the small couch of my room. Tss, I know he's worried of me. He saw how devastated I was to kneel down that night.

Ginising ko na siya at sabay kaming kumain ng breakfast kasama si mommy. Pag katapos kumain ay agad na kaming nag usap. He was sorry for not saving me from him. Kitang kita ko sa mga mata ni Seb na nag aalala siya sa akin. Naintindihan ko naman siya, I told him I was okay. I tried to make him believe that I'm feeling better already kahit na ang totoo ay nasasaktan pa rin ako.

"You know what Shine, let's hang out at the resto bar na pinag inuman natin noon. Still remember?"

I stared at him, parang may gusto siyang ipakita na hindi ko matukoy pero alam kong para lang iyon sa ika divert ng sakit na nararamdaman ko. Dahil kahit anong ngiti ang ipakita ko, nararamdaman niya parin ang totoong nasa loob ko. What can I do, he's my bestfriend. He knows me too well.

He also knows how to make me smile. And I'm thankful that I still have him. Nakikita ko si Legend sa kanya. I can see his need to make me happy. I miss him.

"Hey, why are you staring at me like that? Napapansin mo na ba ang taglay kong kagwapuhan?" He winked which made me laugh.

"Hindi noh!" You're still the same old Seb. And yeah! I still remember the bar. Bakit mo naman naisipan mag yaya dun, we both have works Seb." I formally said.

"Gusto lang kitang libangin Shine, loosen up. Sa makalipas na taon, hindi mo na kasi nabigyan ng oras ang sarili mong mag libang Shine eh." he said as he looked at me straight in the eyes.

Then at the moment, I knew it. He wants me to move on. It seems like he wants me to forget Lege just like that.

"Try to look around. May tao pang gustong mahalin ka kagaya ng pagmamahal ni Lege sayo Shine." He added as he diverted his heavy gaze.

"I know. Alam ko na kapag nag move on ako at nagsimulang maging open ulit, I would find someone na mag mamahal sa akin." though he isn't looking at me na, dinikit ko parin ang titig ko sa mga mata niya.

Tumingin siya sa akin and It seems like I saw something I shouldn't see.

"Exactly Shine."

"But, I won't. I won't open my heart for someone else. You are a witness of Legend and Shine's love story and I know that you know, that I could never unlove Legend. He is my first love. Time may pass and things may change, siya lang Seb. Siya lang." he seemed to understand me because he lowered his gaze and his tensed shoulder went drowned.

"If that is so, I will supoort what you feel at andito lang ako if you need me okay?" He grinned trying to make me smile.

His gestures proved na hinddi parin talaga nag mamature itong mokong na ito but i am happy na bumalik na siya sa pagiging jolly niya. His problems with his dad's condition were gone away.

"Pero sumama ka parin sa akin some time. Para naman maipag drive na kita sa new sports car ko." Pagmamayabang niya.

He brought a car, yun ang gamit gamit niya sa tuwing dumadalaw siya kina Lege.

"Oh, sure."

He's a bank manager now. Ni hindi ko siya na icongratulate because of the battle I faced with Legend's situation but I know he always understand.

I teased him to get a girlfriend already dahil tumatanda na rin siya at dahil kompleto naman rin ang mga gusto niya sa buhay. But he just told me something that made me feel completely happy that day.

"Hindi na. Having you and these achievements were enough for me Shine."

We 3 are having a movie marathone at the living room ng marinig naming may nag dodoor bell. Si mom na ang lumabas and we were shocked as we heard her screaming angrily. Lumabas agad kami ni Seb and there, we saw someone who I thought my comforter. She looked so devastated.

Tumingin siya sa akin at kay Seb. I tried to look fierce.

"I'm just here to get my stuffs."

"So tuluyan mo ng tatalikuran ang pag tanggap namin sa'yo?" though her voice sounded normal, i know my mom is exploding.

"I was never a family of yours." I could still feel the sharp pain as I saw my sister cry.

Sinampal siya ni mommy ng pagka lakas lakas.
"Tinanggap kita, pinalaki, inalagaan, binigay ko sayo ang kaparehong luho na dapat ay si Shine lamang ang nakatatanggap! When we came back here from Baguio, I realized you were not involved with your mother's mistake. You were just a child and you have nothing to do with it. Kaya tinuring kitang parang sarili kong anak." She shouted.

"Anong nagawa kong mali!" dagdag pa niya.

"I'm sorry." she sobbed. Sinubukan niyang abutin ang mga kamay ni mommy para humingi ng tawad.

"I had totally forgotten about the fact tjat you are a daughter of a third party. Dugo niya ang nananalaytay sayo. And once a third party, always a third party!" Hinablot niya ang mga damit na nakahilera sa counter. Napaawang ang labi ko, akala ko lalabhan niya iyan. Hinampas niya iyon sa kapatid ko dahilan para maupo ito.

Wala kaming nagawa ni mommy kahit na pareho naming alam na sumobra na si mommy. I know we were too covered by the anger in our hearts.

"Umalis ka na at kinalimutan mo nang may naging pamilya ka rito!" she slammed the door and after it, I cried silently and hugged her.

"It's alright. You'll get over this. Ang pag kawala niya sa pamilyang ito ay hindi nangalahati sa pagiging matatag mo okay?" She caressed my back.

Simula nung araw na yun. Mas naging matatag ako. I have mom, my friends and, Seb. It made me feel like i'm secured and I have to enjoy being strong.