My Delicate Sunshine |COMPLETED|

Not Forgotten But Ignored

Days continue to pass and we all have to continue with each of our lives.

Our friends took their board exams and Lege and I had to continue for the 5th and last year of our course.

Seb and Ela eventually got their jobs in different companies but I can still see them going home together, upload photos together. Mahilig talaga si Seb mag post ng mga lakad. He's a bit swag on social media. I can't even post a single picture on my account.

Si Lege lang naman naglalagay ng photos namin don sa timeline ko. Ewan ko ba diyan sa facebook, I just don't like it. It seem so open to people. For me its just a means of communication.

I remember one time, it was Seb's first salary day and he called me via messenger.

"I'm really sorry." I guiltly added after I had turn his offer down.

"I told you, it's fine." there was a slight pause, ewan ko kung magsasalita pa ba ako or what. I just feel like if I talk more, i'd hurt him more. "I have to go Shine. Enjoy." then he hang up. Ni hindi niya ako hinayaang mag goodbye.

Inaamin kong na mimiss ko na ang bestfriend ko. Matagal tagal na rin kasing di kami nagkasama ng kami lang dalawa. Miss ko na maglakad sa village kasama ang kadaldalan niya, miss ko na rin kumain ng street foods kasama siya, wala na rin akong taga buhat sa tuwing nag go grocery ako, di na siya sumasali sa liga. Busy na rin siguro siya sa work.

I was at Lege's dorm at that time but Lege isn't home from a project making in school. I just want to surprise him because its our monthsary. Kaya kahit ayoko siyang ginaganon, nagagawa ko parin kapag si Lege na ang katapat.

Maybe we both have to accept the fact that life gets busier as we both get matured. Hindi na kami bata and we have more priorities.

After that call hindi na kami ulit nagkaroon ng chance na magkausap. I was somehow worried cause he became inactive sa FB. Nag oonline naman si Seb pero di ko na siya nakikitang nagpo post ng pictures.

Noong nagka chance kaming magkasabay ni Ela, natanong ko sa kanya kung kumusta na si Seb.

"He's doing fine without you." Thats the exact thing she responded to me.

Di ko alam kung ano ang ibig sabihin nun, kung nagtatampo ba siya sa akin o talagang okay lang siya.

Nung time na yun, sobrang hectic ng activities sa school, at final projects namin. Kaya pinalampas ko nalang muna iyong sa amin ni Seb.

Days passed,

The day of our graduation came. Kaming dalawa ni Legend, we were both cumlaudes. Andun ang barkada sa celebration, except for my bestfriend.

I cannot change the fact that it was hurting me. Natatakot akong aminin sa sarili ko na masyado ko siyang initchapwera dahil lang ay may boyfriend na ako. Pero dahil narin sa pressure ng realidad, tuluyan nang nawala ang chance na magkausap kami.

Months flew so fast and Lege and I got jobs. We started planning everything about the wedding. Everything was being organized from the tiniest details up to the major venues and of course, the ring.

A month and a half before the date of the wedding, I was on my way home from work when a phonecall from someone I badly missed surprised me.

"Hey, Seb. You called." Kahit may ilang na nararamdaman, napangiti pa rin ako as I continue to drive with my own fortuner.

I cannot remember the last time we talked anymore. Even the last time I saw him, it was such a long time ago.

"I miss you Seb." dagdag ko ng marinig kong walang nagsasalita sa kabilang linya.

"I miss you too Shine." he whispered. Hindi ko maintindihan kung umiiyak ba siya o lasing siya.

I stopped my car and parked it somewhere to focus on the call.

"Are you drunk? Asan ka ngayon? May kasama ka ba? I can fetch you up. Pauwi na rin kasi ako." Pag aalala ko sa bestfriend ko. Naguguluhan ako kung bakit siya ganoon. Nag away ba sila ni Ela?

Eh hanggang ngayon di parin nila kinaklaro kung ano talagang meron sa kanila eh.

"Of course not. I'm just stressed. I'm sorry." He exhaled, drunk.

"It's okay Seb. Naiintindihan ko. Wanna talk to me?" Pagyayaya ko. I tried to sound as convincing as possible.

Ngayon lang ako nagkaroon ng oras na magyaya sa kanya. Kasi iba na naman ngayon, my work isn't always busy like studying everyday. And perhaps, we're both adults.

My fiancee is not jealous of him anymore. What happened before, were all an immature act. We aren't kids anymore and we know we have limitations. That's why I love Lege more.

"Hindi ba kita naaabala ngayon Shine?" There's a hint of sadness in his tone. From that moment, napagtanto kong masyado na akong nawalan ng paki sa bestfriend ko. I don't even know if I still deserve to be called his bestfriend. I was never there beside him.

Naalala ko tuloy noong bata pa kami, noong kami pa lamang dalawa, he was always there for me. We were each others' arms. Hanggang sa nagsilakihan kami, kahit nagka layo, andiyan parin siya, handang umintindi sa akin.

In my downfall and in peak, he never left my side. Kahit na hindi ko na siya naaapreciate, kahit na palaging si Lege na lang ang nakikita ko.

Hindi ko napansin, may bestfriend pa pala ako.

"I'll be there wherever you are. Text me the address." Agad kong ni Uturn ang sasakyan ko.

Hindi pa rin pala nakakabili ng sariling sasakyan si Seb. Hindi ko alam kung bakit di niya inuna iyon ganoong importante iyon for his daily life at work. Nabanggit ni Ela na may sakit si Tito kaya ginagamit lahat ni Seb ang sweldo para sa pagpapa gamot ng papa niya.

Ni hindi ko manlang sila nadalaw at naikamusta. Ni hindi ko nagawang magpadala ng prutas o tumulong manlang sa gamutan.

Anong klasing kaibigan ba talaga ako?

Hindi ko naman talaga siya kinalimutan, hindi ko lang siya pinansin.

Ng mga oras na iyon, nakaramdam ako ng pagsisisi.