Crying

nine

*Taeyong's Perspective*

"I hate myself. I always have. 

In school, people thought I was mute, I talked so little. No one ever spoke to me unless it was to hit me and torment me.

I was bullied everyday. I never ate lunch. My classmates always took it from me. I never sat with friends. I wasn't allowed to have any. I was never safe. No one would ever leave me alone. 

That's why I became an idol. I told myself someday they would see me and regret teasing me. They'd be working at the corner convenience store while they watched me on TV busy being loved by millions. They would be jealous of my looks, not able to believe I had become what I am today. 

Ten came into my life when I was a trainee. He made me happy, even when he only spoke in Thai, I felt I could understand him. He was silly and cheerful and overall a great person. I considered myself lucky to even know he existed. He was my first real friend. Ever.

Yeah, he's cute. Actually, really cute. And I have a crush on him. Since Day 1 when I first say him I've liked him. No, loved him. But lately I've had these dreams. Well, nightmares really. He's there but he's not himself."

I sucked in a breath and looked at the therapist. She jotted down a sentence on her clipboard. "Please explain. How's he different?" She peered down her nose at me in the scary way librarians always seem to do.

I cracked my neck (earning a flinch from the therapist) and continued. "He has a scar, over his mouth. It's really creepy when he talks because it splits open and creates an evil smile. Almost like the Cheshire Cat on crack. He's really...." I paused not knowing if I should continue.

"Go on sir." 

"I don't know if you want to hear what I say next."

"I'm a therapist, my job is to listen to whatever you tell me." 

I sighed and put my head in my hands. "He's really terrible. He claims we're boyfriends. That's not true though. I like the real Ten, not him! He unclothes me all the time and tries to kiss me when I don't even want to see his face. His fake face...."

I glanced at the lady who looked slightly surprised. "Uncomfortable yet?" I asked miserably. 

She shook her head and checked her watch. Right as I was about to continue she held up her hand. "Our session is over. Come back same time next week. It's already scheduled." 

She got up and propped the door open. I stood up and combed my fingers through my messy hair. "Thanks Ms," I searched for her nameplate. "Ms. Kim." 

"Anytime sir." She smiled. It was forced. I get it though; I wouldn't want to listen to myself babble about my stupid life story. 

I bowed and left the business. It was about 11 o'clock at night. I had no choice but to bribe the therapist to stay open late in order to go without anyone knowing. I didn't want my manager to know. More importantly, I didn't want my members to know. Especially Ten. 

I popped my airpods in and played Happy by Taeyeon. It was one of the most positive songs on my playlist. Though I love Loser by BigBang, I didn't feel the need to curl up and cry tonight. 

I walked down an alleyway to get to my dorm faster. I knew everyone wouldn't be asleep yet but they would be in their rooms. I frowned sad that my members never seemed to hang out anymore. 

When I finally made it to my street with no trouble I stopped. Shit. I cursed. I had promised to hang out with Jaehyun tonight. He would be so upset that I blew him off. I stopped my music and crouched down, head in my knees. 

"Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit." I cursed a sat down on the sidewalk. I don't remember when I started crying, I only remember when I stopped. I looked at my phone. 1:36. My eyes widened and I finally stood up. I wiped my eyes on my sleeve and walked the last block to our dorm. I looked around to check that no creep was watching me and I quietly opened the door. 

I was right, no one was downstairs. I heard a TV playing upstairs though. I took of my shoes and slid my coat off. I tiptoed you the stairs, careful not to make a sound and somehow I made it into my room without anyone noticing. 

Jaehyun was sleeping. He's so peaceful when dreaming. He smiled ever so slightly and sometimes even talks in his state of unconsciousness. It's very cute. 

I sat on my bed and grabbed my phone. I didn't know what to do so I just looked up something out of curiosity. I typed the words Taeyong and Ten NCT.

I was surprised by all the stuff that popped up. In images there were mostly pictures of the Baby Don't Stop photo shoot and some cute selfies. I smiled while looking through them. I was going to go on one site I saw called WattPad but I guess I feel asleep and I didn't get to it. Oh well. 

                                                                        *Jeno's Perspective*

I had definitely saw him. He had come back at around 1:45 am. I couldn't believe it. Where had our leader been? Why so late? Did anyone else know? All I knew is that I needed to tell the Dreamies. And fast. And I did. Hopefully I'll be able to help Taeyong. 

__________________________________

Ay! I see you! This chapter was in the perspectives of two lovable NCT members! I hope you liked it. It was just my way of spicing things up a bit. 

God could you imagine if the idols found WattPad and read our stories? I'd be beyond embarrassed........😳

Also I noticed if you just add a space in therapist, it becomes "the rapist." Learn something new everyday, right?

Anyways that's all friends! I love you and before you say ilym, (you know who you are) that's not possible because ILYM. ❤️😂

-MYBLiNKArMY