Crying

eighteen

*No One Perspective*

*Daytime Realm*

Ten shook the water out of his hair. He had taken a long, warm shower after his nap. It felt good to cleanse himself from all the blood. 

Ten stepped out of the shower stall and wrapped a towel around himself. He looked at his reflection in the mirror. Though he had just slept, there were still two large dark circles under his eyes.

"Ugh," he grimaced at his reflection. "I don't really look like that, do I?" As he was looking at the mirror he heard a pounding on the bathroom door. 

"Ten! I need to use the restroom please!" Hendery shouted from the other side of the door. 

Ten quickly grabbed his towel close to his body and unlocked it. "Sorry Hendery, bathrooms' all yours."

With that he went to his room, got into some comfortable clothes and grabbed his phone. "Okay, what shall I do?" Ten pondered as he scrolled through YouTube. After five minutes of perusing the random videos on his stream he tossed his phone away. 

He grabbed his old tattered copy of 3's A Crowd from his bedside table and read the first sentence. Then he put it back.

Ten laid staring at the ceiling until finally he couldn't take it anymore. 

"Screw this, I need to talk to someone, anyone." His heart felt like if he didn't say something about how he felt it would shatter into a million pieces and be broken forever.

Unwillingly, he tore himself away from the comfort of his bed and dragged his heels down the stairs. He quickly glanced around, his eyes landing on Johnny who was siting on the couch watching a the TV.

Ten sucked in a breath, clenched his fists, and went over to sit next to the elder member. 

"Hey Johnny!" Ten chirped trying to sound cheerful. Johnny's eyes grew wide when he saw Ten sit across from him. He immediately flipped of the TV and turned towards his member. 

"Oh hey, it's great to see you in a good mood Ten!" Johnny blushed. "Are you feeling better about, the thing?"

"Yeah," Ten played with his hair. "I actually wanted to talk to you about...that."

Johnny cocked his head to the side and leaned back on the couch. "I'm all ears, tell me whatever you want me to hear."

The room was silent for a few minutes until Johnny spoke again. "Okay that rhymed and it was awesome."

Ten just nodded not knowing what else to say. Johnny sure was unique. "Yes it rhymed, good job?...

"Anyways, I'll start the story if that's okay with you." Johnny bobbed his head and Ten began. "Look, I know you like Mark, I just know it." Johnny gave him a look but rolled his eyes and let Ten continue. 

"And I don't like Taeyong. I'm in love with Taeyong. I have been since I first met him. I just felt like our friendship was so strong as soon as we met and I couldn't live without him. I kept wondering how I had managed to live without him before that. He's just such an amazing person who tries so hard to make us and Nctzens happy. Basically what I'm saying is I'm depressed without him. Without my best friend. I want him back, I need to have him back. Without him I'm just an empty shell of who I am. I know that's like super cheesy but I do miss him. And uh, I've kind of resorted to....." Ten rolled up his sleeve to reveal the multiple cuts on his arm. 

"TEN!" Johnny shrieked. "You cut yourself?!"

Ten shrugged and let down his sleeve again. 

"You shouldn't do that. It's just a waste of your time hurting yourself. Plus, Taeyong wouldn't want that. Heck, I don't want that. Ten you're such a close friend of mine. You can't do this. It's wrong and eventually the outcome won't be good."

"I know!" Ten shouted. "I just couldn't help myself. Listen Johnny, if your crush/lover/best friend ever just died-"

"He didn't die." Johnny interrupted. "He's in a coma. People wake up from those."

"Yeah but still." Ten pouted like a baby. "You would be upset too!"

Johnny thought about it and nodded. "Of course i would be upset but I wouldn't cut myself. It's dangerous and I suggest you stop."

He grabbed Ten's hand and looked into to his tear filled eyes. "Everything will be okay, okay? Taeyong will wake up and it will all go back to normal."

Ten shook his head and ripped his hand out of his member's grasp. "What if it doesn't? What if everything isn't okay? What if, what if he dies? What if he's dead right now? Or he already died and they haven't told us?! Hell, he could have been dead before and they're just faking it because he's an idol and what if-"

Johnny clamped a hand over Ten's mouth. "He's not dead. He will survive." With those final words, he left the room and went to the kitchen where the Dreamies were assembled.  

Ten stood alone in the living room. He knew he had overthought and overcomplicated things a lot but he didn't really care. All he cares about was not his own safety but Taeyong's.

☁️☁️☁️

Ten flipped through the scrapbook of pictures with him and Taeyong he had made. They were all so cute. He thought. Every page there was an old memory waiting to be remembered. Ten wiped away his tears and pushed the book back under his bed. 

He sighed and began to speak. "I hope you're okay. If you're dead I hope you're in heaven. I just want everything to go back to normal. Taeyong I love you."

As he cried he fell into a deep deep sleep.

_________________________________

Hey everyone!

We are officially 50% through this book! WOOP WOOP (WOOP WOOP WOOP firetruck...)

I hope it's not too boring. I think it's an okay book that you will stick with. I can promise it will get better and the sequel will be better. 

Okay that's all for now! Please have a great day and goodbye!

✨MYBLiNKArMY✨