The worst LOTR fanfiction

Well sh**

" aww sh** " said Gandalf noticing the dead ring bearer

" WE HAD ONE JOB" screamed ARAGORN

" Mr. Frodo. No Mr. Frodo, No it's your Sam. Mr. Frodo!" sat Sam crying on the ground

" You know crying isn't going to bring him back Sam" said Merry his eyes tearing up

" Oh Mr. Frodo remember when were only so young and you were so not dead. People will remember you Mr. Frodo, not me but they'll remember you. They'll thin of Frodo and his wingsam, and our year's of adventures. I feel like it was only yesterday we had been speaking with the elves." said Sam through streaming tears

Aragorn would have said it was just yesterday but currently he was using an interesting therapeutic technique for overcoming his grief by flying into a murderous rage and killing all the orcs that had attacked them.

Legolas was shocked into quite a depression which wasn't much different from how elves usual act.

" is it bad that all I ever told this 12 year old adult before he died was and my bow." whispered Legolas

" Who died again?" interrupted Pippin stupidly

Gimili just stared at him.

Boromir who had become increasingly creepy throughout the adventure said in a sniveling voice "wait so if the little one is dead might I suggest that maybe I could carry the ring to Mordor?" 

" Full of a took!!!!!!!" yelled Gandalf to Boromir

" Yah Boramir everyone knows you ruin everything and none of us I actually wanted you to come on this quest. In fact, we actively tried to get you to leave but you're just here anyway and probably will die in this first movie because all the characters you ever play always die after like 3 hours of screen time!" added Sam

" Even I look down on you." chimed in Gimili " and I shouldn't even be able to do that"

"Okay Boomer" sulked Boromir

"hisanygucriurvuiubeteiowtttttttttnobeo teivnsdkn" whispered Pipin

" Wow that is really bad parseltongue," said Legolas

" No I'm talking Elvish like you, Duh" replied Pippin 

" Just shut up, Pippin," said Merry

Aragorn had presently finished his murder spree and turned to face the group

" Mr. Strider sir what are we going to do?" said Merry

" FLY YOU FOOLS" Gandalf simply replied for Strider

" Gandalf is right, we must keep on going for without courage how can we call ourselves men? But of course, I am the manliest one in the group" Aragorn 

Sad, deep emotional music started playing in the background as Sam said

" Oh Mr. Strider what deep words if only Frodo had lived to hear them! If only he had lived to hear so many more stories but I guess that's the thing about stories they make the sun shines brighter and Rosie's talk to idiots less stupid and all-" 

" Okay time to go. Gandalf do your thing" said Aragorn. 

" But I don't have any moths" complained Gandalf

There was akward silence

"FINE!! This could have been so much more Epic!" and with that Gandalf summoned them.  5 Fat A** eagles crashed thought the stones and the heroes proceeded to pick up Frodo's boy with the ring and climb on the eagles back. As they climbed on Pipin had been seated with dead Frodo and he turned to the body

" Well that was quite an adventure huh Mr Frodo. Mr Frodo? Oh My Elven Chainmail he's dead! Guys has anyone noticed he's dead" yelled Pippin in despair

Gimli stared at him in confusion