The Diary Entries

Grocery shopping.

Going grocery shopping is pretty tedious. We all hate it in this household. I had to drag Kakarot out with me, he was like a spoilt child kicking and screaming as I mentioned we had to do shopping, and it wasn't for sex toys. Now I did try to bribe him, but he conned on that I'd do that anyway... damn that bastards adorable puppy eyes.

He complained all the way to the store, my in laws looked after the kids for us because shopping with kids is not an easy task. I was beginning to question myself if I should of just taken the kids with me, and left my darling husband with his parents. The man child whined as we entered the store, till he found the aisle that had condoms which oddly enough was placed on the same shelf as pregnancy tests and creams for yeast infections. I told him to leave them for we don't need them, not only that it's a nightmare to find ones that aren't too tight or too small for... never mind. He then glanced at the pregnancy test and asked if we may need them because we didn't use protection. When will this asshole get his memory back is beyond me, I sense he has some serious head injury but my father in law insists he's going to be okay. An old couple glanced at us both as he asked me this, I gave him a smile and calmly asked for him to place them back. The dolt then went - "oh, I guess we don't need it cos I was riding you when you came and well it all trickled out."

Dear god did I want the floor to open up and just take me, I was done. The old couple gave us filthy looks, and well ran as fast as their old legs could take them. I walked away knowing he'd quickly follow me before he noticed the creams for yeast infections. Every aisle we went down he found things and asked questions on. I had enough, and I grabbed a pack of chicken thighs and the following conversation happened:

"Kakarot, I have a very important job for you, ask a member of staff if these contain the back or front legs of a chicken." I said this with a straight face as I handed him the pack ignoring the raised brows from passerby's.

"Why do you need to know that?" He asked as he looked at the pack confused.

"Because... it affects the flavor." Was the bullsh!t response I could think of on the spot.

Kakarot shrugged and rushed off to speak to a shop assistant, I watched in great amusement as the idiot assistant also looked baffled by this and ran off to see the manager.

Five minutes later the assistant was red in the face as they stormed towards Kakarot and handed the packet back.

"Very funny," the assistant glared.

"I don't get it? Are they the front or back chicken legs?" My husband responded, and looked to the side to see the other shop assistants in a laughing fit. Kakarot glanced back at me and well, I grinned at him. He scrunched his brows and pouted with the response "chickens don't have legs do they?"

Ah, that was the highlight of the shopping trip. I have an upset and embarrassed husband, which I have my ways to take his mind off the incident.