The Diary Entries

Alone time...

Very rare do I get such luxury of being alone to myself.

I had finished work early and seen a note placed on the kitchen counter, Kakarot had taken the kids out for a few hours. It was like a blessing. I had a long soak in the bath with no disturbances. I done some cleaning because it's hard to do without getting distracted.

I watched some random sh*t on the television. Till I got bored, no sign of my husband and kids ... I decided to perhaps try out one of the new toys I had purchased. (I'll leave the rest to your imagination) I am pretty confident, that I am not the only one who has done this... at least I can hope. So, this particular toy has different settings that I don't usually pay attention, I go to the strongest vibration... moving along, you probably got the gist.

I'm in bed, enjoying myself...oh f*ck was I enjoying myself....perhaps a little too much for I found the b*stard thing wouldn't stop, and it was rather difficult for me to remove it. And of course, on cue my husband walks in, with our children to see me sprawled out on the bed, getting off, and I can only imagine what my facial expressions must of been like. It was mix between 'oh f*ck yes this is good' to panic of 'oh no' to then more 'oh yes...' I couldn't even talk properly, and my legs felt like jelly. I simply glared at Kakarot as a hint to get the kids out the room. He done so, but he was gone for some time. I wanted him to walk back in the room and help remove the toy. The toy just wasn't switching off, my body was a quivering mess. Each time I tried to call out my husbands name I moaned and heard my eldest shouting back telling me to be quiet. Hearing my husband down stairs talking to probably himself, I sighed and I rolled off the bed and...crawled. I f*cking crawled to get my husband to help me. I could hear my husband talking away whilst I was crawling through the corridor. I had slammed my fists on the floor in hope it would grab his attention. It did not...

So, I leaned over the stairs about to carefully climb down them whilst having spasms and uncontrollable moans. That's till I heard my husband was not alone down stairs, he was talking to his dad who was in the kitchen with him...oh f*ck. I turned to crawl back to the room, I somehow managed to tumble down the stairs in the process...on the positive the toy managed to dislodge itself out.

The negative, the toy vibrated it's way into the kitchen. My husband and father in law glanced down at the toy just minding its own business vibrating past their feet. The two exchanged a look then peeped their head out the door way to see me on the floor...speechless.

Never again will I use toys on myself during alone time...

My father in law laughed about it, whilst my husband tried to console me...