Days flew past after that night, especially with the summer collection on the go and the nearing charity event, i've been spending my days working and thanking my mother for staying with Dahlia during this time but at the end of the night, I found myself laying on the bed, playing with the ring as I let my thoughts swallow me. Thinking about the consequnces if I say yes, and if I say no. Yunho is someone I don't deserve, that is a fact. He has the purest heart, and kindest soul. I dont want to say yes just because he is always there for me, nor because he is giving me and my daughter the love, protection and attention we both seek for a partner and a father. I wanted to say yes but because i wanted to be there for him too, give back and love back, but right now, im not sure. I can't understand these overflowing emotions i cant even name, and this.. is a serious matter. Not only for me, but for my child as well.
I sighed and gulp down from my bottle of water, letting the time tick as i sit in this familiar room. This became my refuge for years, but visiting this became frightening nowadays. With the uncertainty of tomorrow, my mental health is always at risk.
The door swung open, a lady in her mid-thirties come in with some folders on her hand. She gasped and run towards me, pulling me into a tight hug with her cheeky smile as usual. "(Y/n)! How have you been?"
I smiled and rub her back before pulling away, "Hi, Doc. I've been well."
"Oh (y/n)!" She whined, nudging me playfully before walking around her desk. "Just call me Lia. What brought you here?" She asked, sitting on her chair.
"I was nearby and decided to pass by shortly."
She rests her elbow on the desk and grins at me, "You look.. awesome. Does your medication work well? How is your sleeping routine?"
"I've been taking them religiously, and I think it works well. Your sleeping pills helped me at night, but I somehow ended up skipping them these past few nights. I thought something will trigger me, nor made me struggle more at nights but I still sleep peacefully."
"I'm glad you are doing well. Don't forget to take care of your mental health as well as you do to your body, because that.." She tapped her head, "is still a part of you and if that became weak, a lot are at risk. You know that." She placed her chin on her palm as she leaned closer, she wiggles her eyebrows at me with a sly smile on her face, "If the mind is being taken care of, how is your heart?"
And all of a sudden, Yunho's image popped in my head. With no question regarding him, nor his name being mentioned, yet here he is in my thoughts. I blinked a couple of times and tried my best to keep him out of my head.
"Well, it beats just right. Lub dub, lub dub." I kid around, hearing her laughter echoes with my attempt to escape her question.
She held my hand and smiled warmly, "Well, your smile tells me otherwise. I'm so happy to see you, love. Not as my patient, but as a friend."
I smiled at her. Remembering how she saw me at my worse years ago and now, she's in front of me, not for my usual therapies but as a friend, who is grateful for her hand on times i needed one. She helped me stand back on my feet, every therapy, every sudden phone calls at times of unexpected breakdowns, every switch of medication to find which one will boost me up; she's there with me.
I breathe deeply as I walked out of the hospital, thankful that I wasn't a patient anymore, but the smile never lingered on my lips as I, out of all the places and timing, come face to face with Jongho, whose eyes were fixed on me as he take those steps in between us.
I took a step back as he comes a little bit closer, he cleared his throat and asked, looking at me worriedly and confused at the same time. "What brought you here?"
