The whole car ride was awkward, or atleast for me. I keep glancing at him from the corner of my eyes and he, on the other hand, keeps his focus on the road. The silence is a torture, and him, being silent and quiet is far from the giggly man I know and this is because of my doing; which makes things worse for me.
"(Y/n).."
"Yes?" I answered immediately, turning to my side to face him.
"Uhm.. we're here." He uttered, scratching the back of his head as he pulled over in front of my house.
The lights are off, they are probably asleep; and with the gap between me and Yunho, I lost it. It must be settled.
I cleared my throat and faced him, "Yunho, about what happened—"
"It's nothing, (Y/n). I understand, facing your ex husband in that timing, it's reasonable." He shrugged his shoulders, which makes me more frustrated with myself. Knowing how he can't even look at me, this is definitely not just nothing.
"It's not. I think I owe you an explanation and an apology—"
"No, (Y/n).. For real, it's alright. You don't owe anyone an explanation about your life—"
"Yunho, Yunho!" I hold unto his arm to make him listen to me, but with his gaze on my hand on him, I immediately pulled away and cleared my throat. "It is not alright, to see such situation and go without any explanation or clarification. I know it's bugging you, and it's bugging me more, not hearing from you nor not being able to approach you and see you excited with my presence anymore.." I deeply breathe and rest my back on my seat, staring straight into my house as I tried to find words to explain. "Jongho is getting married, and is about to have a child with his new girl. Via."
"Oh.." He mumbled, crossing his arm as he sits there, comfortably. "That must be the reason you're crying that day. Tell me, (Y/n), does it still hurt?"
"To be honest, yes." I heard him sighed, and I'm not gonna lie; it feels heavy for me to let him hear these but bottling this up from him is far heavier. "Not on the part that I have feelings for him anymore, but because I have lived a life and once planned a future with him, which in one second, got crushed. I struggled, while he, on the other hand, continued living. My kids.. who deserved the world was left with me.. I just wanted to give them everything I can provide even though I failed the first thing, in providing them the presence of their father.." I bit my lower lip, shutting my eyes to fight back my tears.
I felt it, his hand over mine. It felt so warm, and comforting.
I turned to face him and there goes that smile I am missing.
He gave my hand a gentle squeeze before letting it go, "I understand, and I.. I am here this time. Just so you know, you have me in this battle. I am hoping for one thing though, that you give yourself some time to either cry or smile, for no one else but yourself. It's your right to feel such things."
I shook my head, sighing, "I don't want you to feel used, or even use you to get over this, Yunho. You deserved more than that."
"We deserve everything we wanted, and I wanted to be here. Beside you."
"Yunho—" I trailed, looking into his eyes. The reflection of lights from the posts reflect on it, making it sparkle so beautifully.
My heart is beating so fast as I let myself drown in those eyes. He leaned closer, and closer. I feel like having a heart attack right now, then I felt my seatbelt loosen. He unbuckled it, with a sheepish grin on his face, "Dahlia must be waiting for you."
