Before You Go • VHOPE [On Hold]

Chapter 2: Dear Life

A/N: Trigger Warning ⚠

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I wonder how a person feels when they know they are about to die in a week.

How do they feel just the moment before their death?

Do they pass away peacefully?

Will I die peacefully?

───※ ·❆· ※───

"May I sit here?" The guy with his really huge smile asked, patiently waiting.

Hoseok looked up at him and sighed, turning his eyes back on his plate as he chewed silently.

"Thanks!"

"I didn't say you could sit here.." Hoseok furrowed his brows unpleasantly as he stared at him.

Taehyung rolled his eyes and chuckled mockingly, "Spare me the attitude. Look around, there aren't any seats elsewhere."

He pursed his lips, aware that all seats were already full. He stared back down again. Taehyung smirked, knowing he succeeded in his plan, he started eating his lunch too.

"So,"

"Shh."

Taehyung pouted, "Talking doesn't cost a lot of money.. it barely even costs anything."

"If you would have only paid more attention to biology, you would have known talking costs stamina."

"You could have used up this stamina to talk to me nicely instead of being so mean.." Taehyung whined.

"WHY-" Hoseok yelled out at first, infuriated, but then calmed himself immediately to avoid the stares of everyone that would otherwise have fixated on him, "Why do I have to be nice? I don't even care anymore. Just.. don't expect me to be your friend. Leave me alone."

He took his plate, emptied the little leftovers and left. Leaving a surprised Taehyung behind.

He furiously raced his way to the bathroom and entered a stall, shutting the door behind him hastily as he broke down crying. Even though tears weren't following at first, his heart wrenched enough for him to scream in his agitation.

Tears rushed down his cheek, he clenched onto his chest, cursing himself, cursing his life. How he hated every bit of everything that was happening to him.

He just wanted it all to end. Sooner than it was supposed to happen.

───※ ·❆· ※───

That afternoon as he sat at the empty shore, tired; his collected stones kept in a box beside him, he took a piece and threw them one by one.

And with the last piece in his hand, he stared at it, deep in thought. He was getting tunnel vision while his mind was a black tangled messed up ball of dark thoughts. He heard his ears ring, adrenaline rushed and he felt his desire to end everything.

He turned to the ocean, walking slowly, one foot at a time, until his feet touched the water.

And with every proceeding step, more and more parts of his body were leveling up to the water. His knee, his waist, his chest. But as he stepped more forward and felt ground slowly and slowly slipping away underneath his feet, horror captivated his whole being.

Suddenly, he was terrified. Crying, heartbroken, hopeless, but terrified to die. He quickly turned back and desperately dragged himself towards ground. Running, even though his legs only pushed at water. He lost control and dropped, his face drowning in the salty water just like his whole body. He saw it, his heart pounded like crazy, he could hear his heartbeat. I'm dying.

He choked and gagged on the miserably salty ocean water with a marine taste. Realizing his lungs were going to get filled up in no time. There wasn't any space to breathe in, no air, no oxygen.

Now that he knew he was dying, the internal screams and adrenaline within himself screeched to breathe.

Just then, strong waves clashed against him, rolling him forward and forward, even though he was suffering under the strength of the water. Another strong wave shoved him towards the shore and he finally felt his body touch the wet quick sand below.

He realized this was his last chance before the currents dragged him back into the ocean, he desperately threw his hands and legs and barely made his way out. Enough until he was lying safely on the shore, he turned and kneeled, coughing out the same salty water and gasping for life, reflux making him want to puke on his empty stomach. He puked out the same extremely salty water that was forced through his lungs before. The nasty aftertaste making him shiver in disguist and chills run down his spine.

He cried, screamed. Agitated at his own cowardice that he couldn't even have the courage to end himself, despite hating his life.

───※ ·❆· ※───

"Why are you drenched?!" His father was shocked to see his diseased son like that. Concern filling him up.

"I just.. wanted to take a sea bath.." Hoseok murmured nervously.

His father was too worried to evaluate. He was concerned considering winter was just around the corner and he didn't want Hoseok to get sick. Because, his immunity will supposedly die slowly. Even a cold can gradually worsen his situation.

However, he refrained from scolding or nagging at him in the moment. Remaining calm, he thought about talking it through with him later to reach a mutual understanding.

And also because, he didn't want to question his son's wishes in the last few months of his life.

"You'll catch a cold, it's dangerous. God, wait, I'll prepare a warm bath for you." He said calmly and went on ahead to prepare the bath.

"Thank you.." Hoseok mumbled, looking down at his hands. The same hands that clenched onto the sand for his dear life a while back.