Before You Go • VHOPE [On Hold]

Chapter 8: Friend

My heart's pounding.

What is this feeling?

───※ ·❆· ※───

"I'm not gay.." Hoseok mumbled, awkward but more than that, flustered.

Taehyung awkwardly chuckled, "I see.." He seemed quite confused in his own words too.

Hoseok shook his head to himself, immersed in thought and an unknown fright. He quickly stood up and rushed out.

"Hoseok? Wait!" Taehyung called out and quickly chased after him. Excusing himself and firmly shoving through the crowd, his hand reaching out to hold onto Hoseok's shoulder, only to miss it.

Hoseok practically ran and promptly rushed out the exit.

"Excuse me!" Taehyung shrugged and shoved others aside, panting for breath. He sharply inhaled before he ran out, hoping to catch up to him.

"Hoseok!" He noticed him in a distance, walking with a hasty impatience. Taehyung charged after him. Hoseok didn't see at first but when he turned around, his eyes widened and he gasped, trying to run too but he was out of breath.

Taehyung ran as fast as he could, his lungs giving up on him, but he finally managed to close the distance and grab Hoseok.

"Wait!" He screamed.

Hoseok froze, gasping for breath. He heard Taehyung's heavy breathing in the thin air, evident how he must have ran uncontrollably.

His touch wasn't calming, his voice was confusing. Hoseok hated all of it in that momentㅡ and yet Hoseok was afraid to look back at his face, or see him smile.

"Why do you always leave?" Taehyung whispered amidst his gasping.

Hoseok's heart thumped in the most unpleasant manner. He hated this immersive feeling of sadness, this fleeting hope and yet the despairing truth that made his whole being wrench everyday.

He held onto the hand that gripped onto his shoulder, he shoved it off and turned around, clenching his jaw as he faced Taehyung. Yet, he could not look him in the eye.

"I don't careㅡ" Hoseok strongly spelled out every word, cruel emotions lingering onto the broken phrases, "ㅡif you are going through some confusing phase. But for fuck's sake, stop dragging me into your mess. I'm not your play-toy you can fool around with."

"I- I never thought of you like that.." Taehyung murmured softly, hurt evident on his face.

"Really?" Hoseok snickered, "You really need to figure yourself out, I swear to god. You're already dating someone, and here you are. So funny, isn't it? It's disgusting."

As if life wasn't cruel enough already.

"Hoseok. That's not true. Stop it."

"You're just a stupid playboy." Hoseok stirred, he felt annoyed at his own self for being so infuriated, but he couldn't shrug this feeling off.

This strange kind of frustration. This vile and defiled feeling, yet this strange beating of his heart that he never experienced before.

"I'm sorry..." Taehyung muttered.

Hoseok gave him a distasteful glare. He never cared who Taehyung dated, but for a fact his contradicting personality really made Hoseok angry.

"You.. who were fretting over an indirect kiss. And then you ignored me only to show up and gloat over making out with your girlfriend. And then.. today.. you kiss me. How do you explain your strange contradicting behaviour? You say I'm wearing a fake mask, but for one, you are too." Hoseok ranted out.

Taehyung bit his lip, "I like you." He said, not meeting his eyes.

"What?"

"I like you!" Taehyung yelled out.

Hoseok was taken aback, his eyes widened and something in him just never stopped stirring. He frowned. Surprised and speechless, he turned to walk away but Taehyung grasped his hand.

"Hear me out. Please."

Hoseok gritted his teeth, "What is it?"

"I don't have a girlfriend. I was just teasing you that day.. I sprayed women's perfume on myself and ran around. It's stupid of me, I know. But I wanted you to see me normallyㅡ so I could be your friend who you could keep your guard off around rather than someone you're wary of."

Hoseok gasped at that and turned around, growling, "Who the fuck does that?!". But somewhere inside him, he felt a little relieved and happy to know Taehyung wanted to be his friend.

"I had to! You never pay attention to me!" Taehyung pouted, his ears red from being flushed. He hummed a little to see Hoseok speechless and silent.

"It's okay if you don't like me back, Hoseok. Butㅡ" Taehyung said and pulled Hoseok closer to crash against him, his hand resting on Hoseok's back while he hugged him. He whispered into his ear, "I want to be your friend. So please stop pushing me away."

Hoseok's heart raced, his eyes teared up as he felt something different. Something that almost made him breathe in life for the first time. The words that made him feel relievedㅡ that acknowledged what he had been doing so farㅡ Pushing everyone away.

Someone that reasoned him. And in this moment, he had a reason to embrace his world too. Hoseok felt guilty for feeling a bit happy and elated, but he couldn't stop his sad tears either.

The painful beating of his heart wasn't unpleasant at all. He felt relieved, he felt touched, he felt something for the first time in a while.

This warmth, these words, his voice.

How can someone desire this much attention from me? Who even I consider unworthy of life. Being the person I am to you, how can you still want to be my friend?

»»---------------------►

A/N: If you thought I wouldn't update today, you are ABSOLUTELY RIGHT! Well, were, since I decided to post last minute, 27 mins left till the day ends. However, I'm soon gonna run out of drafts and I'm stuck at the lemon part I- I'm trying oKAYㅡ
Edit: I legit had published it without a name... -.-

-Sam ♡