Mulligans

8. The Original

Nathan tried desperately to focus on the board game as Birdy drew another question card from the deck. They were playing boys against girls with him, Tyler, and Chase forming a team against Stacey and Birdy. The game was called Identity Crisis?, and the congruity between this and his current frame of mind wasn't lost on him. The admission of his mounting midlife crisis was beginning to feel inevitable. He'd been greeted by crisis before, and he always made quick, rational decisions and moved forward. He wasn't one to dwell on the potential paradoxes of a problem. So what the hell was the matter with him lately? He couldn't seem to get off the hamster wheel of self-doubt and second-guessing. Each question only led to more questions, and he was creating a whole series of "what if" scenarios, an elaborate "choose your own adventure" novel of roads not taken. That was part of what was currently missing in his life, any sense of adventure. His existence had become rote, mechanical, and the most abhorrent adjective he could imagine—predictable.

It wasn't a feeling of not having accomplished anything. He was quite proud, in a quiet way, of his family, his success at the architecture firm, and his ability to afford a lifestyle he considered very comfortable. But what now? He had worked so diligently on pushing the boulder up the hill for the past twenty years. It felt like the challenge was over now. Was the only excitement left to push the boulder down the other side and follow it down, turning over and over, day after day in the same monotonous fashion until one day everything just... stopped? He shuddered at the thought.

"Daddy? Daddy! It's your turn." Birdy caught his attention by waving her hand in front of his face, each finger capped with a game piece like thimbles.

"Time's up, Little Miss Muffet." Stacey saved him by beginning to pack up the game. "I said we could play until eight o'clock, and it's eight fifteen. Time for you to have your bath."

"But Mom!" Birdy complained.

"No buts, just your butt in the tub," Nathan said with a wink.

"Good night, boys," Stacey said as she took the game in one hand and Birdy's hand in the other and headed for the bathroom.

Tyler looked up at Chase from another text message on his phone, a distraction that had kept him half-attentive all evening. "I'm gonna take the girls to a movie. You want to come?"

"Nah, I'm good here, man, thanks. I'm pretty swacked. I think I'll call it an early night."

"All right, suit yourself. Playing hard to get, are we?" Tyler asked, already on his way out. Chase shrugged.

"Christie will be disappointed," Nathan said. "Already have a girlfriend?"

"No, but I... I already know I'm not into it, so why pretend and then let her down?"

"Quite the player, are you?" Nathan laughed.

"I didn't mean it like that. Our interests are just a little too similar." Chase focused his attention out the window.

"You want another beer?" Nathan asked, getting out of his seat and heading to the kitchen. "Come on, let me show you the best place in the house."

Before turning into the kitchen, Nathan saw Chase raise his eyebrows curiously and get up to follow. Nathan noticed that for the first time all evening his mind was refreshingly quiet and clear.

The best place in the house was not in the house at all. It was on top of the house. Nathan noticed Chase's eyebrows arch even higher as he leaned a ladder against the house and climbed up, his beer bottle stuffed in the back pocket of his jeans so he could have a two-handed grip. Nathan turned and held the ladder in place when he reached the top and waved down to Chase. "Come on up!"