Mulligans

18. How Do Two Boys Do That?

Tyler tossed his duffel bag in his mom's Land Rover and headed into the house to tell his dad they were headed out. He planned on extending his usual offer to see if his dad would be joining them at his grandmother's for the weekend and was expecting the usual answer. His dad never attended functions at his mother-in-law's house; the woman seemed to stretch his patience over the course of a dinner, so Tyler couldn't even imagine them together over a whole weekend.

Tyler found his dad sitting at the dining room table, coffee in hand and reading the newspaper. "Sure you don't want to come?"

"Positive," he said without looking up from his headlines. "I'm happy as a clam right here."

Tyler pulled something from the back pocket of his jeans and tossed it on the table. "Look what I found in the guest cottage. A super old photo of you."

Nathan picked up the photo and grimaced. "It's not super old."

"Kinda looks like me."

His father examined the photo of himself in his old football uniform more closely. "It looks a lot like you. I still feel that young, you know. You feel the same on the inside. It's just the package that changes."

"Yeah, well, yours changed a lot. You used to be a stud, Dad," Tyler joked, punching his dad in the arm as a farewell gesture.

"Watch out. It'll happen to you too!" Nathan called after him, his eyes still on the photo.

"Chase is gonna be here too...," Tyler said, poking his head back in the dining room as his mother and Birdy rolled their suitcases down the hall.

"Tyler, would you take these to the car, please?" his mother asked, handing her bag over. "Make sure Chase gets something to eat once in a while, okay, Nathan? Don't leave him stranded out there. Make sure he feels comfortable enough to come in the house to get whatever he wants."

"Yeah, right, of course," he assured her and stood to give them hugs as they went out the door.

Less than five minutes had passed on the drive when Birdy interrupted the silence. "What does gay mean?"

Tyler's mom turned around from the front passenger seat to lower her sunglasses in her daughter's direction. "Who told you that word?"

Tyler rapped his fingers against the steering wheel. "It's not a bad word, Mom."

"I never said it was. I asked where she heard it," she said defensively.

"Brian said he thinks Tyler and Chase are gay," Birdy stated matter-of-factly.

Tyler's drumming grew to an agitated staccato beat. "What does Brian know? He's, like, ten."

"I'm ten," Birdy replied, as if this piece of information validated both herself and her informant as forces to be reckoned with.

"I know, Birdy," Tyler conceded. His sister was indeed wise beyond her years. "Look, gay isn't a bad thing."

"So, what is it?"

She obviously wasn't going to give up, and so Tyler began to formulate the best explanation he could muster. "Birdy, sometimes a guy will fall in love with another guy. Or a girl will fall in love with a girl. That means they're gay."

"Okay."

The reply seemed satisfied, succinct. Maybe, just maybe, this would be the end of her questioning. Tyler wished it both for himself and for his mother, who was now massaging her temples. No such luck.

"I love Jenna, my tennis coach. Am I gay?" Birdy asked.

Tyler and his mother turned to answer Birdy simultaneously, although their answers probably only proved to confuse her further.

"No!" their mother said curtly.

"You might be," Tyler suggested cautiously.

His mom glared at him. "But you probably aren't."

"It has to do with love and... and other stuff, Birdy...." Tyler began his explanation again.

"Like sex?"

Their mother went back to massaging her temples, defeated. "Oh Lord...."

"It's okay, Mom, I know. Jeffrey told me all about it," Birdy assured her mother.

"Of course he did...."

Birdy stared out the window for a few blessed moments of silence, moments when Tyler again silently willed his sister's curiosity to be quelled. It wasn't.

"But how do two boys do that?" she asked. Tyler imagined the gears in her mind spinning.

His mother pulled off her sunglasses and turned to fully face her daughter to emphasize the importance of her new game plan. "Remember our rule to not talk about golf? I'm changing that. We can all talk about golf, especially this weekend with your grandmother. And after the weekend, Birdy, we're both going to learn how to play."

Tyler smirked to himself as he pulled the Land Rover onto the highway. "Yeah, Mom... there's nothing straighter than a couple of lady golfers."

Grandma was already pouring the early afternoon wine when they arrived and gathered around a table drenched in linen. The little tea party was missing tea but benefited from sitting in the shade of a massive weeping willow whose sloth-like branches hung clear down to the lawn.

Birdy unfolded one of the crisp serviettes from the table and laid it ladylike on her lap. "Grandma, I saw Jeffrey's penis!"

Grandma continued to pour and turned to verify with Stacey, in all sincerity, "No wine for her, right?"

"She's ten, Mother," Stacey responded, taking a healthy gulp of her own, sure she'd need a little buzz to get through the afternoon.

Grandma lifted her hand in the air defensively toward Stacey as if her hospitality were under attack. "I was just checking." She turned to Birdy and passed a tray of sugar cookies to the girl with a smile. "They're weird-looking, aren't they, Birdy?"

"It looked squishy," Birdy said, taking two cookies from the tray.

"Sometimes they are...."

"Mom! Please!" Stacey shot her mother a look of outrage.

"Well, she's bound to find out one day. There's nothing wrong with a little education. More wine, dear?" Grandma asked, already uncorking a second bottle.

"Yes, please."

"Tyler?" Grandma offered, already filling a glass for her grandson.

"Tyler doesn't drink wine," Stacey said, pulling the glass from her lips.

"Of course he doesn't," Grandma assured her as she handed the nearly overflowing crystal to Tyler. "So where is Nathan?"

"He had to stay back," Stacey lied, knowing full well she was incapable of doing a convincing job of it to her mother. "He had some..."

"...work. Of course." Grandma finally took her seat, emitting an exasperated breath as if this concern had been plaguing her all day. "I don't know why he's scared of me. It's not like I'd say anything we don't already know."

"Mom...," Stacey cautioned, shooting a glance at Tyler and Birdy.

Grandma rolled the stem of her crystal between her thumb and fingers gingerly. "Well, not to his face. That might upset him."