A/n: HOLY SHIZ!!!!!!!! 1.06k READS!!!!! THANKYOU ALL SO MUCH!!!!! I COULDNT BE HAPPIER. YOU ARE ALL GREAT AND I HOPE YOUR FAV FOLLOWS YOU ON TWITTER or INSTAGRAM! Lots of love MWAH x
P.s. Some chapters are going to be a bit triggering. You are worth so much more than a book darling. I send my love for the people out there who aren't in the right mind frame and to the ones who thought the pain would never end. All I can say is don't give up, everything will be alright.
Belle's p.o.v
Our waitdress comes back over and takes our meals. I am served last and when I tell him what I want Bec turns around saying "are you sure you want that? It's going to go straight to your hips and thighs and you don't need anymore weight around there"
Ouch!
She could at least not say it so loud even though no one heard it but me. "Excuse me" i excuse myself and run to the bathroom. Why is she doing this? I already hate myself and everything I do. I don't want to be here.
By the time I reach the bathroom I'm sobbing. I thought tonight would be decent not shitty like this.
After crying for a minute or two I fix my mascara up and walk out the door. Hopefully my eyes aren't too red that it looks like I've been crying.
We finish dinner and I don't talk much except for a few yes and no's. All I wanna do is cry on my bed and listen to sad music. I don't want to be here.
The drive home is silent and when we get home I rush to my room closing the door behind me and locking it so no one can get in. I cry into my pillow and I don't stop for a while. When I get up I wipe the tears from my cheeks and take a look in the mirror. And all I see is big fat failure. A failure at everything. An imperfection one.
I turn away from the mirror so I don't have to see what a pathetic person I am. I've gained so much weight. I hate myself, so much!
I cry, again, into my pillow until I fall asleep with my pillow wet and my eyes swallow.
-------_______-------______-----
I wake up at 7, unsure of why my pillow is damp until I realise that I cried so much that I fell asleep.
It's Saturday and I don't have to work. I kinda want to work because I have nothing to do. Maybe Luke and I will hang out today, or maybe he doesn't want to spend time with me. I should just sleep all day, or maybe I should see a movie. What movie though? I decide to go for a shower and decide after that. The shower is warm but doesn't relax my muscles. I just want to sleep all day, forever. Never wake up.
"Belle" I hear my dad call. I finish up my shower, get dressed and head to the kitchen where I think he is.
"Yes dad" I ask
"Tomorrow night Bec and I are going out to dinner, your sister will be at a friends place so will you be okay if you stay home alone?" Will I be okay?
"Yeah, of course"
"We will be leaving tomorrow at 5 and coming back late" I tell him that it's fine and go to my room. I want to text Emma and Lizzy to see if they want to hang out today.
To Emma and Lizzy:
Me: *hey, do you want to see a movie today?*
Lizzy: *yes!*
Emma: *sounds great! Is it okay if the boys come?*
Me: *not al all*
Lizzy: *okay, we'll meet at Ashton's*
And just like that I'm going to the movies. I put on some jeans and a plain green singlet, it's just the movies, I don't need to get dressed up fancy.
My phone vibrates and it's Luke saying
*I'm picking you up and taking you to Ashton's x*
I can't help but smile, I really do like Luke, love even.
After 5 minutes Luke knocks on my door and I answer. "Hey" he says "you ready"
"Sure am"
"How can you dress so casually and still look great" he tell me, my face turns red and I don't know how to reply to that. Luke opens the door to his car for me, like he always does and I jump in.
"So, um, I'm going to be home alone tomorrow night" I tell Luke incase he wanted to spend the night with me
"Shit really?! I'm having dinner with Cathy and John, if I wasn't I would come over and keep you company. Sorry Belle" he drives out of the driveway and heads in the direction of Ashton's place.
"It's okay, I might just watch movies" we stay in silence all the way to Ashton's house. We are the last ones to arrive and I feel bad because they have been waiting for us. Luke and I stay in our car because we have to drive again to the movies. Luke and I go first, then Ashton and Lizzy, Emma and Calum. Michael didn't want to go by himself so we let him come with us.
"I'm, like, 6th wheeling, you know? I'm the only who is single. That's kinda sad but kinda great at the same time. I don't have a girl who I can love and spend most of my time with but then I can have sex with as many girls as I want." For the whole 35 minutes Michael tells us the pros and cons of being single. It doesn't get annoying because some stuff that he is saying is quite funny.
The only movie that is playing is 'The Hobbit' so we all get a ticket, Luke pays for my ticket when I told him not to. When we get in there is only a few people and us, it's a lot better when there is a only a few people because you can sit pretty much anywhere.
A/n: hey okay so this is short Yer anyway. Thanks again for 1K.
You lovely people should all go check out _1Directionx & 1dtakeovertheworld they both have books that I'm reading and you should as well so go check them out, vote, comment on them etc. love you guys MWAH x
