It Never Really Goes Away

Chapter 6

        Theodore Bartholomew's POV

    I packed my bags excitedly, already looking forward to seeing my long lost school chums.  I knew Mad's was on the plane and we were to meet her the day after she arrived in Florida but I wished that it could be today that we were reunited.  They were the only people to have truly accepted me.  Who really understood me.  They wouldn't ask why I packed an inhaler despite not having ever been diagnosed with asthma, or about my Medical Alert button though I wasn't old or unhealthy, or even about my large book of current (finally) statistics about tragedies that could happen during our trip.  Because even in defiance of our phobias we all knew the truth.

    We would always be afraid.

    It wasn't as bad as before.  I didn't text my family members all the time asking if they were dead or in need of medical assistance.  I didn't yell at my father when he climbed onto ladders in order to fix things or hang celebratory decorations.  I didn't even call and check in every day when my parents went on vacation.  But there was still that little seed of anxiety in the back of my mind.  A voice that continued to whisper, though I had shoved it in a box and locked it away in the deepest darkest recesses of my mind...

    Death is inevitable.

    That single fact still had me shivering when I crossed the street.  It made me leave lists for my family of all the things to avoid without me there to save them from the grips of my greatest fear.  It made me paranoid.

    I would never be a risk taker.  It's not who I am.  Knowing, however, that death would come for me, one way or another, made me search desperately for anything- anything that hinted at life after death.  Naturally the main thing I found was religion.  My problem with that was how it was unprovable.  It required a certain amount of faith and I had never been one to so easily trust things that I didn't understand.

    What would happen to me?  Would I even exist anymore?  If I didn't then... what?  Does it hurt to just not be anymore?  How could you not be is that even possible?  Why live out a life only to die with nothing but your memory left behind?  What if there is more?  Is it just as bad?  What if we just get put in another type of life with twice as many dangers and a million more things to fear?  What then?

    All unanswerable questions.  All left me trembling.  All were the reason why I could never.  I repeat never, not be afraid.

    At least I would be with the people who understood my fear and had their own. 

    Madeleine pretended to be cured but she looked on her spider with loathing and she became distracted while you were talking to her if so much as a fly buzzed about.  Her eyes would trace bugs movement flinching whenever one neared her and grabbing whatever the heaviest object nearest you her was to smack the crap out of the nasty things.

    Lulu denied her fear but refused to go in elevators unless there was absolutely.  Positively.  No.  Other.  Option.  Even then it made her sweat and her eye twitched and she was always breathless, irritable, and skittish for the rest of the day after being in one.  Small spaces still bothered her. 

    Hyacinth tried to say she was okay with being alone but it was more than obvious that it wasn't true.  She carried Celery with her everywhere and called me nightly.  I think the call was to steal herself for the night ahead of her.  Alone in the dark without a sound to be heard for miles.

    Garrison didn't like water.  It was a fact.  He now grasped (sorta) how to swim but avoided having to.  He would go to the beach but anytime I'd been face timing with him while he was in that particular location he seemed nervous.  He was harder to get a gauge on but I suspected he was just like the rest of us.

    Our fears hadn't magically disappeared.  They had just become manageable.  Still, I held out hope that somehow.  Someday. 

    I won't be scared anymore.

           Garrison Feldman's POV

    I was walking down the hot stretch of sand, past the monstrous roaring waves of the ocean, with a blonde, tanned, and teenaged girl on my arm.  In other words, I was on a date.  Taking a leisurely stroll on the beach with Kate.

    "I'm super thirsty Garry..." Kate hinted.  I didn't much feel like running to grab her something for the umpteenth time so I just handed her some cash.  Besides the snack bar was a twenty minute walk from here.

    "I gotta use the restroom but the snack bar is back that way.  Meet you there for a bite in twenty-five minutes?"

    "That sounds great Garry!  I'll miss you..."

    I fought the urge to roll my eyes.  I liked Kate plenty but 20 minutes away from her wasn't going to make me forget what she looked like.  I nearly said 'right back atcha' but I had a feeling that wouldn't go over well.  "Not as much as I'll miss you."  My smile was fake but did the trick.  She grinned back, pecked me on the cheek, and started the walk to the snack bar.

    Since the bathroom thing had been a ruse I just sat staring at the snarling beast- I mean ocean- with loathing- I mean with uh... awe because of its overwhelmingly terrifying- I mean terrific beauty, contemplating going for a dip.  Who am I fooling?  Certainly not myself... I wasn't ready for the ocean yet.  Maybe I could try a pool- bathtub.  I'll just practice in the bathtub.  That sounds good- no!  Quit being a wimp Garrison, my inner awesomeness said to me.  You can't be such a big chicken baby that you get over being in water by sitting in a freaking bathtub.  If your to gutless to handle the ocean at LEAST get in a pool. 

    As much as I hated it, I had to agree with my inner awesomeness.  Even when it said, do you want to lose your girlfriend?  It's been five minutes already and if your late she'll have a cow.  She's not an idiot.  Kate's know it doesn't take a full five minutes to go to the freaking restroom let alone more.  Unless your sick at your stomach or something... I rose, dusting sand off my shorts as I did so.

    So lost in my thoughts, I almost didn't notice the tall, slender, raven haired beauty waking down the strip of beach.  When I did though all  thoughts of meeting my girlfriend vanished. 

    She wore a navy blue bikini and denim shorts.  Slung over her fair arm (she was very pale) was a white button down blouse and a towel with red white and blue towel.  I couldn't see it very well but the towel appeared to have some kind of flag as it's pattern.  Her sunglasses and black floppy hat kept me from seeing her face very clearly but I did manage to catch a glimpse of full red lips that frowned.  Then she dropped her bag (a black and white large purse) and beach supplies poured out.

    "Hey!"  I called running over to help. 

    The mouth smiled.

    "Do you need some help?"  I asked, already bending over and placing things back in the bag.  "I'm Garrison Feldman by the way."

    "I know that silly."  The words sounded odd and it soon became clear that she had an accent.

    An English accent. 

    "Wait..."

    "Garrison, it's me.  I'm so bloody chuffed to see you!"  She threw her arms around my neck and when she pulled back, took the glasses and hat off revealing a familiar pair of kind blue eyes, sparkling in the sunlight like sapphires.

    It was Madeleine.

    Sorry y'all :(  It's been another long period of time before my next update.  I'm really struggling to manage my time well for all my books.  My project is still going, I've got two other books on here, and I just don't gotta lot of time in the day.  Anyways I know excuses are like buttholes (as in everybody has one) but I hope y'all forgive me anyway.  My updates won't always be frequent but I will finish out this story!  Love y'all so much BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  (For now;)