The Wife

Chapter one

I didn't even have the energy to attend my classes today, having to beg Lacy drained every possible ability to do anything in me. The little bit of strength I had, I used it to cook for these humans all over the house making noise and my head near to explosion.

They came down screaming. Dammit!
Me: I said play upstairs!
Them: Sorry.
They giggled and ran back up. I poured another  glass of wine. Lacy was my ticket to my big break, he ruined it for me, he does this all the time. He always ruin every chance of me making money for myself.

I sat on the dining area after laying the table and stared into space until a voice shouting my name brought me back to life.
Tebogo: I'm sorry to shout at you like that. You didn't hear me at first.
I looked at him and finished what's left in my glass.
Me: Where is he?
Tebogo: Outside on the phone. I brought his briefcase.
I pointed where he should put it.
Tebogo: Are you okay ma'am?
Me: Do I look okay? Is it you he sent? Huh? Is it you?
He looked at me confused and I didn't give a shit. Ndaba trusts him, its him he'd pick to do something like that for him. I poured another glass and drank half. I am losing it.
Tebogo: I don't know what you're talking about. Have a goodnight.
Me: Rubbish! Save your lousy wishing!

He walked in. The son of Lucifer himself walked in straight in a tux like he is a saint. I laughed crazily. He drank the remaining wine on my glass.
Ndaba: What's all that noise for?
Me: What do you want from me?
Ndaba: Good evening to you too. How were your classes?
He tried to kiss me but I shifted away.
Me: You don't give a shit about my classes. Why did you do it?
Ndaba: Is food ready? I'm starving.
Me: I'm talking to you dammit!

I smashed the glass against the floor he came flying to hold me intact. I screamed and fought him off of me.
Ndaba: Bianca my kids are upstairs. You can't seriously do this right now.
Me: Let go off me!
He kept his grip tight.
Me: Let go of me or I'll scream even louder.
He exhaled and let go.
Me: Your kids huh? That's all you care about right? That is why I can't even go out there to look for a job because I have to be always here when your baby mamas don't feel like being mothers. Why do you always jepordize every chance of me making my own money?
Ndaba: You have money.
Me: That's your money. If you decided to up and leave tomorrow I would be left with nothing to my name, nothing.
Ndaba: That's just you bluffing. Let's go upstairs, I'll run you a hot bath, take your meds and sleep. You'll wake up feeling better and we'll talk about this. I'll dish up for the kids and put them to bed.

He hugged me and kissed my forehead. He took my hand and we went up to our bedroom.
Ndaba: Or just take the pills first.
I opened the cabinet and took them out.

Anti-depressants became my life 3 years ago. I lost my mother and also my brother 2 months in a row. I couldn't handle it. They were all I had. Since then my life has been dependant on Ndaba. I know he doesn't mind providing for me but I feel like I need to do something for myself. He went against the idea of me going back to tertiary after I recovered. He's been against everything that'll lead me to finding a day job. His idea has been: Its too dangerous for me and my mental state out there. I feel like I need to be out there again, I need to face the world again.
Ndaba: Babe.
I gasped and dropped the pills.
Ndaba: I'm sorry.
He picked them up and took out my daily dose and I drank up.
Ndaba: I'll bring your supper. The water is ready.

I nodded and watched him leave. For so many times during my breakdown, I would stand here and have the urge to hit my head against this hand basin until I died but I pulled myself out of that dark place. Right now this is just a basin and not a death tool...

-
There is magic inside each pill. I did not even get to see Ndaba bring my supper. I just woke up and I feel new. Less anxiety, less anger. Just a little bit of upset. It is way past 9am in the morning. Lord knows who made those poor kids breakfast. I climbed out of bed and reached for my robe. The door opened as I looked for my slippers.
Ndaba: Looking for these?
My poor slippers are probably crying under those size 9 feet. He is still in pyjamas I assume he is working from home today. And that on his hands is a tray of my breakfast. Trust this man to go out of his way to calm you down.
Me: We agreed on you never wearing my slippers ever again.
He laughed.
Ndaba: I'm sorry. I just couldn't help myself. You always pick the good ones.
Me: Ofcourse I do.
Ndaba: This here is our breakfast.
Me: Great. Let me brush my teeth first, have the kids eaten?
Ndaba: Yes and gone.
Me: Gone where?
Ndaba: To their mothers.
Me: Is it because of yesterday? I'm really sorry I was-
Ndaba: No no no. We need our space that's all.